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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27592463">Natsuki Subaru's Journal</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/returnbydeath/pseuds/returnbydeath'>returnbydeath</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence/Gore, Character Death, Constellations, Fainting, Future Arc Speculation, Hallucinations, Haunted Houses, Hurt/Comfort, Natsuki Subaru's Suffering Journal, Scars, Seasickness, Self-Harm, Stargazing, Suicidal Thoughts, third trial</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:42:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,874</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27592463</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/returnbydeath/pseuds/returnbydeath</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of (usually) short Re:Zero one shots that I'll add to when I get bored of writing longer ones!</p><p>(Arc 4+ spoiler heavy.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>375</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Confrontation (Otto & Subaru)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes it’d be minor. The blood seeping from prods in his arms mingling with the paltry amounts of ink at the edge of the quill he gripped awfully tight. Sometimes it’d be a bit more major.</p><p>He’d do it when he wasn’t aware and needed to stress to himself that all was over, nothing hurt anymore, and the only pain he had to concentrate on anymore was now. It’s nothing else.</p><p>The sharp point of the quill dragged down his wrist until blood almost wholly masked his inner arm, and a small cry arose from his throat, to himself, loathing himself so much for allowing to show this side of himself to Emilia sometimes.</p><p>Beatrice knew. He’d just do it when she wasn’t around, so she didn’t have to scrap her mana on something so petty as himself. Something so petty as Natsuki Subaru.</p><p>Making a face as if he was feeling sorry for himself, Subaru couldn’t be bothered to dry his blurry eyes. He’d just sweep blood over them, clouding his vision even further. That’d be the worst case.</p><p>The cracks in his skin became bigger as he tore deeper into his skin, the deep crimson of his blood contrasting the happier complexion.</p><p>“Natsuki-san? Are you there? Beatrice-san said to come fetch you, and you notice, she’s rather forceful when she wishes to be, you know?”</p><p>You never learn when to quit, do you?</p><p>“Sorry if that silence means no, but I’m coming in, Natsuki-san.”</p><p>Shut up.</p><p>The door creaked open, and he didn’t even bother to obscure what he was doing. There’s no reason anymore. He’ll just fix it afterward.</p><p>A silvery-haired boy, relatively tall by comparison to Subaru appeared within the crack in the door. He had a smile adorned on his face, and it was oddly handsome. Subaru would note that strange comment to himself, but he was too deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice Otto entering the room.</p><p>“N-Natsuki-san...?”</p><p>“You know, you... shouldn’t be doing things. Like that, Natsuki-san.” He showed to be getting over the initial shock.</p><p>Otto cleared his throat, gradually closing the door behind himself. He tried his best to smile, but Subaru could tell he was feigning it to try and make himself feel better about the situation at hand.</p><p>“You don’t have to act so tense, Otto.”</p><p>“...I’d like you to put down the quill, Natsuki-san.”</p><p>“Why should I do that?”</p><p>“Because you’re harming yourself with it, and you’re not grasping how much this would impact everyone else if they knew.”</p><p>
  <em>As if.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As if they care about me.</em>
</p><p>That’s what he wanted to say, but... the words just didn’t come out. He placed down the quill, quickly overpowered with a sudden wash of guilt he hadn’t ever felt before. If Emilia knew, then, he’d just die, right?</p><p>Subaru didn’t take considerable notice of Otto sitting on an adjacent chair after hauling it closer and bringing Subaru’s hands into his, examining at his wounds as he forcefully gripped the quill and snapped it in half.</p><p>“That’s a bit dramatic, isn’t it? I wasn’t doing much.”</p><p>“You call this ‘not much’? You almost hit an artery. Natsuki-san, don’t you appreciate what would happen then?” Otto was glancing down. He didn’t wish to consider the possibility.</p><p>Of course he knew. He’d die, and he’d start afresh. Only if he could tell everyone about this, they’d finally understand why they’ll never understand as they are now.</p><p>“I believe I told you this before. Stop putting a tough act on in front of your friends, Natsuki-san. I want to help you, and I don’t want you in the dark anymore.”</p><p>“As if you care.” He murmured.</p><p>“What was that?”</p><p>He responded with a shrug, and Otto let his shoulders slump with frustration.</p><p>“Should we get Garfiel to look at these? He’s quite adroit at healing magic, you know...”</p><p>“No..! Just, no. If you have to take me to someone, just take me to Beatrice, she’ll be disheartened, but she knows why. And I can’t risk Garfiel spreading this to everyone else by accident. What will everyone think of me?”</p><p>Otto seemed astonished at first, and a few moments later he opened his lips to speak once more but nothing came out.</p><p>“You don’t get it, and that’s fine. You wanted to get me because Beatrice needed me, right? Then, let’s go.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if anyone reads this, do you guys mind me using honorifics? I think it expresses the characters better, and having to use just 'Natsuki' with Otto feels awkward.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. (Sisterly) Love! (Beatrice & Subaru)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You know Beako, I really do love you.”</p><p>“What’s your reason for saying this now, I suppose?”</p><p>Curling her hair with her free hand, Beatrice puffed up her cheeks, staring down at her feet dangling from the chair. Her other hand was intertwined with Subaru’s, swaying back and forth in the empty space beside them. Subaru was beaming, one hand gripping hers of course, and the other placed around Beatrice’s torso, serving as a belt so she wouldn’t unintentionally fall forwards.</p><p>Subaru raised his eyebrows, maintaining his cheeky grin. “Is it so wrong to tell you that I love you occasionally?”</p><p>“W-Well, it’s not like Betty is opposing to it, after all. Do as you like, in fact.” Beatrice turned away from her contractor, trying to hide her embarrassment from him. The spirit wasn’t used to this at all, and at first it felt really awkward to be in his presence, relaxing on his lap, so close.</p><p>“If that’s so, then you’re so cute, Beako! I think my heart might burst!”</p><p>“Now, that’s taking it too far, I suppose! Betty may be the cutest spirit with the cutest contractor in existence, but it doesn’t mean that Subaru has completely overtook Betty’s kind and sisterly heart with his fancy words, in fact!” Beatrice squealed as Subaru pulled on her drills, almost bouncing off his lap like a startled cat.</p><p>Continuing with his relentless teasing, Subaru giggled, “And hearing you say my name, Beako...!”</p><p>“Alright, that’s enough of the torment, I suppose! Shh for now, in fact.” She shushed him, and he quietly acquiesced, both simply proceeding to enjoy being in each other’s presence.</p><p>In the past, Beatrice would despise herself for getting used to this and actually liking it. She concealed her smile once more from him, and pulled their interlaced hands on to her lap, swinging her legs, contented.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Remembrance (Crusch & Ferris)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The graceful girl, beautified with a jet-black dress, a cotton pink cape draped over her shoulders. Her previously hardened eyes had become subdued, barely like the war lady she used to be. Trying to smile, she had been avoiding meetings for roughly half a year now. Ferris, a knight she had come to recognize, arranged them all out for her. He must be stressed. Really, really stressed, right?</p><p>Because she had amnesia.</p><p>At first, Felix Argyle made her terribly uneasy. She had woken up, remembering nothing that she wished she could. Crusch wanted to try her best, but she couldn’t even recognise her own name. It was so very miserable, being in this body that she didn’t recognise. She could tell that Ferris tried his hardest, but lots of occasions he’d just stop and start breaking down, impotent, and she’d hold him tight, caressing the back of this poor boy she didn’t know, soothing him with hands she can’t even recognise herself.</p><p>Intruding on her thoughts, the pretty boy entered the room, platter with two teacups on gently settled on his feminine hands.</p><p>Excitedly looking at Crusch, he beamed, “Hyellooo, Lady Crusch! As always, you’re lyooking the best. I brought tea, and Wilhelm insisted he’d syerve it to you, but Ferri-chan lowed his workload, and wyanted to devote time to my favourite lady!”</p><p>Attempting an ersatz smile, Crusch responded, “Ah, Ferris... You didn’t have to,” She proceeded, “I,” She struggled to speak as Ferris stared at her longingly. He placed the platter down, two cups of tea on her desk.</p><p>Crusch hated the taste of tea, as she was now. According to Ferris, she had loved a name of tea she couldn’t quite pick off the top of her head, but she envied her. She and Ferris must have had a pleasant time drinking tea together, having a conversation.</p><p>“Well, are nyou doing well, my lady?” Ferris picked up the teacup from the handle, drizzling it into his lips before quietly exclaiming, “Hot!”</p><p>“Ah, yes... I’ve just been wondering recently, Ferris, and this is going to come off possibly quite rude, but could you tell me more about the ‘His Highness’ you alluded to in a previous chat of ours? I’m rather curious, yet, if it comes off rude, please reject my offer.”</p><p>Seeming rather dazed, Ferris placed down his teacup on the table with a clink. As if recalling something important, he glanced downwards for a time, processing Crusch’s offer. Before deciding to say something, Crusch stayed quiet. This happened too many times, she’d hit a soft spot of Ferris’, leading to silence in the room for way too long than she’d prefer it to be. She was too curious just not to ask; the contents of Ferris’ answers always helped her get closer to being that powerful Crusch she’d hear so much about in marriage proposals she’d receive on the daily.</p><p>Before long, Ferris darted his eyes back high, trying his best to give off a convincing smile, “Of course, Lady Crusch. His Highness was,” Ferris paused for a long moment, “Fourier Lugnica, the fyourth prince in the royal family. Lyong story short, he and the rest of the royal family died of an inexplicable illness, that even Ferri-chan couldn’t stop.” A strange sadness lay in his yellow eyes as he delivered, “Nyou... You were very close to him, pyerhaps one could assume you loved each other. But His Highness was ever too stubbyorn to admit it.”</p><p>Finally picking up the cup of tea and reluctantly taking a sip, Crusch stared in amazement. This hardened, robust lady was in love, and there was a prince on the receiving end? Of course, Crusch knew she was of high status, but she was close with a prince, possibly even becoming a Queen of Lugnica? She stayed on that thought for a while, processing the information that Ferris had revealed to her.</p><p>Another piece of intelligence she had inferred was the supposed deaths of all the royal family members, moving to the Royal Selection that had been talked about to her too many times over. Fourier had been included in that group, and Ferris seemed to be massively troubled by his death. Was she being inconsiderate by acting as if she was interrogating him? Maybe it made him slightly uncomfortable.</p><p>Ferris was tense, shifting in his seat after he returned the question and hesitantly listened to the deafening silence in the room's air. He knew it was a lot to take in, especially after losing her memories. He’d be the one at fault for not telling her any of this sooner. It prodded at a place in his heart he didn’t want to visit anymore, especially after he promised himself that he’d be strong for this new Crusch.</p><p>“Forgive Ferri-chan for asking, but are nyou alright, Lady Crusch?”</p><p>Panicked for a moment, Crusch realized just how long she had paused for. Ferris was almost at the point of finishing his tea, and her lips had only touched the surface of the liquid. “Ah, yes. I apologise, I was just deep in thought. Fourier Lugnica seemed like a lovely person.”</p><p><em>I hope that I’ll be able to remember the time I spent with him</em>; she thought about saying, but quickly dismissed the thought, wishing to remain deferential to this young boy who had felt a loss that she wouldn’t be capable of imagining.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I haven't written anything outside of the Emilia Camp except for the fic with Julius, so I'm really sorry if I got their characterisation wrong. I read EX 1 quite a while ago too, so sorry if I got any details wrong.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Flowers (Emilia & Subaru)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Subaru, what are you doing?”</p><p>“Hk-!” Shrieking gently, Subaru spilt the glass of water he presently held in his palms over his tracksuit. Sighing in response, he stared over to Emilia with a smile, “Hey, Emilia-tan, you can’t scare me like that, you know?!” He promptly settled down the glass of water and took off his tracksuit jacket, flinging it over to his bed, Emilia staring with a puzzled face.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to scare you though?” Emilia put a finger on her lip, jabbing it into herself occasionally, shuffling a little further into the room and closing the door behind herself.</p><p>Subaru picked back up the glass of water, turning his attention back to the point of interest. There was a small plant pot with a budding stem creeping out of the tiny chunks of soil scattered into the brown pot. “It’s alright. You’re as cute as ever, so I don’t mind too much, Emilia-tan.” Flashing a smile like some cool protagonist you’d find anywhere, he turned towards Emilia while pouring a slight amount of water into the pot.</p><p>“Umm, I’m still not sure what you’re doing, though...” Smiling back clumsily, she stepped up to where he was, writing a delicate blush on his tender cheeks. Emilia peered downward into the pot, immediately ‘recognising’ what was happening. “Oh, you’re growing fruit, Subaru? For Beatrice?” She poked at the emerald stem, the light drops of water weighing it down, making it bob.</p><p>“You jump to conclusions way too fast, you know? Why would I be growing fruit in such a small pot? And if I was, why would I be giving it to Beako...?” Subaru grinned, scratching his cheek while laughing at her slow understanding. “I’m growing a flower. It’d just look pretty in my room, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Ram-chi told me that my room looked plain and boring, and she compared it to me, don’t you know how harsh that is?! So, being the lovely woman she is, gave me spare flower seeds for my room. Once I’m done growing them, I can’t stop thinking about how much more adorable you would look with a different flower in your hair, Emilia-tan... Not like you don’t already look adorable, but you’d look like a fairy, with a full flower crown.” He nodded to himself, muttering about how beautiful the girl right next to him was.</p><p>“I don’t exactly know what you’re talking about, but the fact that I know that it’s something weird is sort of comforting,” Emilia let loose a small giggle as she continued to stare at the plant.</p><p>“And that too, is really harsh, don’t you think?!”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>Sighing in response to Emilia’s regular clueless nature, he found that oddly comforting, too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I kinda rushed this one, but I just wanted to get the idea into words. Thanks for reading again!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Cleaning (Ram & Subaru)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A mop swept its way across the patterned wooden flooring, a pink-haired girl standing with crossed arms in the room's corner. She was glaring down at the boy with the broom as he plunged it in and out of the bucket loaded with soapy water, scrubbing away dirt on the floor.</p><p>“You know, Ram, you standing there while I’m doing all the work makes you look bad.” Subaru muttered, almost stumbling over on wet flooring as he habitually glanced towards the one he directed the criticism towards.</p><p>“Ram would rather not go near a filthy Barusu. And that, if you miss even a single speck on the floor, Ram will have you redo the room.” Ram, with an entirely straight face, “No, the whole mansion.”</p><p>“That’s way too in character for you to say, and needless to say, harsh!” Subaru halted his steps across the floor, water dripping from the coarse strings of yarn connecting to the wood of the handle.</p><p>A smug grin appeared on her face, “Heh.”</p><p>“Why do you look so satisfied with yourself?!”</p><p>Ignoring his comment, Ram continued, her palm splayed out in front of her as if she was lecturing him, “Continue your work, useless Barusu. Ram’s tiring of standing around.”</p><p>“If you’re tired of standing around, why don’t you help?!” Subaru reluctantly gripped the mop once more, silently cringing at the unsatisfying slap of the mop’s white yarn against the solid flooring. He sighed, then swiftly mopped the remaining parts of the flooring.</p><p>“What are you even doing here anyway, Ram? Weren’t you supposed to be helping Frederica with Petra’s studies?” Subaru placed the mop back inside of the bucket, picking up both of the utensils, ready to finish for the day.</p><p>“Frederica said she had it under control, so Ram trusted her judgment. Plus, Ram wasn’t perfectly sure that useless Barusu could handle the mopping on his own, so Ram came to supervise.”</p><p>“Am I a child now?!”</p><p>“The way you slobbered on Emilia-sama’s lap after she kindly lent you it was childish, yes.” Ram nodded to herself, affirming her thoughts. Subaru could swear he saw her smirk for a moment, almost recalling the time she heard about him receiving a lap pillow, which she just wouldn’t shut up about within those two months.</p><p>Subaru, a mild blush coming on his face, concealed his rosy cheeks with his free hand, staring down in chagrin. “Can we please leave that topic alone?! It’s been almost five months!”</p><p>Ram replied with another cheeky smirk.</p><p>“Is that all you have to say?!”</p><p>“Anyhow, Ram came for a reason, Barusu. About, Rem.” A sadness showed in her red eyes as she uttered her forgotten sister’s name, failing to even recognise it herself, which threw a wrench into her thinking.</p><p>Subaru turned to her anxiously, indicating he was listening.</p><p>“Ram received free time in order to visit her, Rem, and just as you said, Ram could feel the similarities in our blood. Ram is related to that girl, Ram’s… little sister.” She shifted uncomfortably in her stance.</p><p>This was extremely out of character for Ram to act, Subaru noted in his mind. She’d usually banter and tease all day long to everyone in the Emilia Camp, not even leaving out the leading member herself. However, this Ram felt… awkward. Unsure. It was almost like something was trying to slot itself back into her memory that she really didn’t have any memory of.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure you’d wanna hear all about her, huh?”</p><p>“No. Ram is getting a headache just by speaking about that girl. It feels as if something is on the tip of Ram’s tongue, yet she can’t seem to reach it within her mind.” Ram suddenly clutched her head, bringing Subaru to panic a little, stepping forwards if she required any support.</p><p>Of course, Ram flicked her hand towards him, leading to him stumbling away. “Ram doesn’t want Barusu’s filthy hands all over her. It’s enough to have your filthy words penetrate my ears.”</p><p>“You’re awfully quick to get back to your usual self, huh…” Subaru would chuckle at that comment, but with the tense atmosphere lingering in the air, he’d rather not.</p><p>Rem was a vital part of Subaru’s existence. Most likely, if it weren’t for her, he wouldn’t be here right now. So he’d rather not pass off her existence as something meager to him and disrespect her with a laugh.</p><p>Pointing a finger towards her pale facial complexion, he furrowed his eyebrows, proceeding, “Say, Ram… You’re looking a little pale. Are you certain you’re alright?”</p><p>“As Ram mentioned, I don’t want your filthy concerning words all over Ram, Barus…” Stopping mid speech, Ram’s face seized an even paler look, as if someone had painted her pure white - her lips were scarcely even showing. It was as if she was a puppet who had their strings released, and Subaru panicked, quickly grabbing her arms as she fell.</p><p>Clicking his tongue, he stared at Ram’s face, barely breathing, almost like a corpse. Like a corpse. Like a corpse. Like a corpse. He shuddered, trying to shake off the thought before properly picking her frail body up, carrying her quickly to the clown he knew he couldn’t trust.</p><p>※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※</p><p>Ram slowly freed her eyes, feeling the comfort of a bed beneath herself as she awoke with a heavy exhale. Her body felt sluggish and, well, such was the familiar for her, nevertheless she felt depleted of all her energy. Her bones were aching around her entire body, and she had barely enough energy to keep her eyes staring straight.</p><p>Subaru sat at the side of her bed, glancing happily at Ram as she slowly fluttered open her red eyes.</p><p>“Seeing that ugly sight when waking up isn’t what Ram would call pleasant.”</p><p>Exhaling with satisfaction, “Even after collapsing, you just don’t drop the attitude, huh..?”</p><p>"I found out from Frederica that you offered to do a lot of the spare rooms. I would have finished them, you know? You don’t have to push yourself.”</p><p>“Hearing that Ram shouldn’t push herself from someone like Barusu is laughable, though Ram did the spare rooms as Ram couldn’t stand looking at you any longer, how long you take to clean.” Trying to smile, Ram ended up with one of her typical Ram smirks without even trying.</p><p>“You know, you didn’t show until I had almost finished everything, anyway…” Subaru sighed at Ram’s triumphant attitude towards her own cleaning.</p><p>“Ram thinks you left a speck in that last room, anyhow. Tomorrow, you’re doing all the rooms, Barusu.”</p><p>“What?!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry if the pacing seems a little off, and if Ram seems a little OOC.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Stubborn (Otto & Subaru)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I’ll deal with the Sin Archbishop, and you and Garfiel can help the villagers--”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Denied. That proposal puts Natsuki-san at too much risk.” Interrupting the panicked Subaru, Otto placed his finger on the map laid out on the table between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thinking about the massacre that would ensue if he didn’t deal with the Archbishop of Lust, Capella, Subaru bit his lip in response to Otto’s retort. “But, if I don’t do something here…!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, as if directly cutting through his thoughts, Subaru was hit with a prompt slap to the face. Exclaiming, “Ow!” he stared at Otto in amazement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t have plans to talk to a hero that could save millions,” Otto closed his eyes, bringing his hand back towards his side of the table, “If that was your intention, I’ll change my approach and attitude towards it as well.” Sitting himself back down, he examined Subaru with an intense gaze. His hand still splayed out, his head tilted downwards towards the map.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Otto closed his eyes with a faint smile, “That’s how you use it, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slight chuckle escaping his throat, Subaru facepalmed, “...M’sorry. Sometimes you’re really stubborn, aren’t you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that applies to the both of us.” Returning the sprout of chuckling in the room, Otto replied with a swift sip of his coff. Coff being awfully similar to coffee from his world struck a quick raised eyebrow from Subaru, distracting his attention away for a second before Otto waved him back to reality.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, let’s go and rework the plan.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is just speculation for Arc 7 based off a comic I found quite a while back! I'm really excited for Tappei to begin writing it, and I really do hope our three idiot trio gets a little more spotlight here.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Injury (Subaru, Otto, Garfiel)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welcome to more pointless angst, the fanfiction. I'm really sorry everyone.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“..A-h.. gh..”</p><p>Whimpering as he lay on his back, Subaru panted in agony, every sharp inhale he took taking an incredible toll on his lungs, stabbing and aching every moment he breathed. His eyes were glazed and unfocused, struggling to stare at the silhouette of the man ahead.</p><p>Hissing, he tried to clutch the profusely bleeding wound on his side, only to be greeted with a hand pulling his own back to the ground.</p><p>Blood running down the surface of his lip as he opened his mouth, Subaru whispered, “Wh... y, are you... trying to save..” His words were cut short with a violent fit of hacking up blood, afterwards screaming in writhing pain.</p><p>“Natsuki-san, please listen to me, you’re going to be just fine... I’m not well-versed with healing magic, so this is the best I can do, please stay awake, you’re going to be fine..! Just, wait, until Garfiel gets here...” Grasping at straws, Otto bit his lip, drawing blood. He had torn off parts of his sleeve and was pressing them against Subaru’s wound, knowing very little healing magic to aid in this situation. As well as that, he had to keep Subaru still and stop him from harming himself further. Garfiel had mentioned that he’d come after them shortly after they had departed for Vollachia, but they had been caught in a battle with Mabeasts, and nothing went smoothly, and Otto had to carry the injured Subaru back to safety, and...</p><p>The usual sound of desperate ripping and tearing of Otto’s destroyed shirt filled the air. The ex-merchant tensed up, seeing Subaru stop moving for a second, looking up in the open with a lifeless stare before again trying to grab his wound. He hated to say it, but it was relieving to see him struggle, as he knew he was just trying to stay conscious.</p><p>But that was the opposite of what Subaru was seeking to achieve. Maybe if he bit his tongue off, he could warn Otto not to travel that way next time and they’d be fine. His mind was in a frenzy, battling to stay alive as more and more blood oozed from his body, gradually becoming colder and colder.</p><p>“..Ghh.. Natsuki-san, please.. Natsuki Subaru, please stay with me!” In an attempt to shock Subaru with his yelling, he pushed harder on Subaru’s wound subconsciously. “Garfiel’s...”</p><p>“Cap’n..!” Garfiel arrived in the nick of time, Otto thought. Sweat streaked down his forehead as he stared at Garfiel, producing a face as if it was urgent.</p><p>“Sorry, Brotto, my amazin’ self took a b’t of a long time to find yer..! What happened with the cap’n..?” Distressed, Garfiel ran over as hastily as he could, kneeling down next to Subaru in consternation, acknowledging at Otto’s bloodstained hands.</p><p>“Please treat him, Garfiel. There’s no time to waste, Natsuki-san got a serious injury, and...”</p><p>“My amazin’ self is on it, Brotto..! Lift yer hands away a sec’nd.” Steadying his hands, Garfiel illuminated the room with the light of life. It unwaveringly closed the wound, still bleeding from its depth, leaving a scar on the side of Subaru’s stomach. “…I can’t stop th’scarrin’, but my amazin’ self think scars’re pr’tty cool anyhow…”</p><p>Garfiel lifted his hands away, looking at Otto. “He’ll be fine, Brotto. My amazin’ self healed 'im up.”</p><p>“No, but.. Garfiel, you..”</p><p>Despite this healing, Subaru’s eyes were closed peacefully.</p><p>Otto couldn’t have been the first to notice that there was a lack of the light raise and lowering of his chest as he lay there.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Foresight (Subaru, Petra)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“S-Subaru, Emilia-neesama, I know you must be so tired...” The girl spoke weakly, laying on the floor, blood trickling out the side of her lip. Subaru held her in his hands, tears and snot running down his face as he clutched her tight as if not letting her life-force disappear.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Petra tried to smile, and Subaru shook his head.</p><p>“But, I’m... g-going to wind up being a burden too. I’m s..sor..ry.” She hacked up whatever blood she had left in her throat and Subaru wanted to interrupt her as she whispered, but he purely gently caressed her face with his fingers.</p><p>“...A-A-All the thanks, I’d wanted to say... could never be en..oug...h...” Petra finally managed a smile on her little face, the familiar glisten in her eyes slowly withering away.</p><p>“No, no.. Petra, please, don’t... please.. I’m begging you, Petra, please... just stay with me..!” He didn’t bother wiping his tears, it’d blur his eyes, making him incapable to see the little maid, all grown up, in front of him. She had received a wound from the disgusting Archbishop of Lust, Capella. He hated her, he despised her so much. Everyone else was working so hard to resist her outside of the household that Subaru had carried her in, struggling to treat her injuries. “..You didn’t need to... get entangled with this, Petra. You were fine without it, so...”</p><p>“I wanted to help i-instead of leaving it, all to... gh.. you and Emilia-neesama..”</p><p>Subaru gasped, hastily applying further pressure to her wound.</p><p>“Petra, don’t speak, okay? You’ll be just fine, I promise... so, just stay awake...”</p><p>“I’m s..orry, Subar...u..” Her breathing gradually slowed until it finally ceased, and Subaru immediately resorted to his modern-day CPR to keep her alive, to keep her breathing. He knew little about CPR or first aid, he had just seen people doing it on the news, and he couldn’t help but try it, if it was going to aid her... if it was going to help keep Petra alive, he’d do anything, even if she’d be a bit hurt afterward, it’d all be fine, because she could just been healed right back up, and nothing would be wrong with her anymore, because she’d be fine. He’d save her with his CPR, and then everything would return to normal. She’d be the maid that always waited for him to come home after a long journey, she’d greet him at the door and bow to him adorably, and whenever she fell out of the habit of being formal, he found it so adorable and wanted to hug her all day long. But her breathing’s stopped. She can’t be saved. “Pe...tra...” Her breathing wouldn’t resume, no matter how hard he pumped his hands into her chest.</p><p>In shock, he stared at her lifeless corpse. That was Petra, and he had failed to save her. But wait, he could die and return, so Petra would still be there. It’s not like he couldn’t kill himself and redo it all, so Petra wouldn’t have to suffer the fatal wound. He’d do it all again if it meant that he could keep this sweet girl he had met in the village alive and well, safe.</p><p>He gripped his tongue between his teeth and bit as hard as he could, screaming in torturous agony for a few minutes as blood seeped out of his mouth before finally succumbing to the comforting darkness of Death. He saw the light of Heaven, the flames of Hell, and the darkness of disbelief, the shadow of love all in seconds, and returned to where Satella had set his save point...</p><p>To be met with a sight he’d never thought he’d see, a despair unknown to man filling his body.</p><p>Petra Leyte’s corpse lay lifeless on the wooden floor.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, Petra's line right at the start is one from Emilia's Third Trial in the WN. I'm not sure if it's been put in the LN as well, though I interpreted this line as Petra's and something she'd say whilst dying. It made me really sad to write this, I'm really sorry.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Foresight Part 2 (Subaru)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ghh..gh..”</p><p>Consciousness fading back into existence, Subaru frantically blinked his eyes, unable to see anything under a blindfold obscuring his vision. As far as he knew, he was strapped to a chair, hands scruffily tied with rope behind the wooden seat, feet tied to the front legs. He also seemed to have a black blindfold over his eyes and some sort of object fixed in his mouth uncomfortably, like a gag.</p><p>Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit...</p><p>He recalled the last thing he knew before he had gotten to this position, instantly recognizing the face of Capella Emerada Lugnica in his mind, sickeningly calling herself a lovely lady and undermining everyone else around her. He was contorting his face in hatred at just the thought of her, trying to jolt himself free from the chair he was restrained to.</p><p>Petra Leyte.</p><p>Oh, fuck.</p><p>Petra Leyte.</p><p>Petra Leyte. Petra Leyte. Petra Leyte. Petra Leyte. Petra Leyte. Petra Leyte. Petra Leyte. Petra Leyte.</p><p>She’s dead, and he couldn’t do anything before an explosion occured outside, causing him to be knocked out in shock next to Petra’s dead body, which he couldn’t save. Even if he reset in this situation, there was seemingly nothing he could do.</p><p>Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, why did he have to let her die, why did he agree to bring her along, it’s all his fault he’s in this situation. Petra’s dead, and he could have averted it. He lost a perfectly good life, it was going to be led by her and it was going to be fulfilling, she was going to be so happy, she was going to find someone she truly loved.</p><p>Petra Leyte, why are you dead?</p><p>He craved to scratch his arms and harm himself, he needed to feel the pain that Petra must have felt by being betrayed by him, by letting her die instead of letting her live. Why did he have to have this power, and why couldn’t it be held by someone who was reliable, someone who could actually use it for the greater good instead of letting everyone around them die?</p><p>He couldn’t even use Return by Death to get out of this scenario. He mostly likely has been abducted and took somewhere by the Witch’s Cult, or in plainer terms the Archbishop of Lust, Capella. Subaru wondered if his kidnapping had anything to do with Louis Arneb’s disappearance after being given a real body. She had been broken by the knowledge of his ability and Subaru was pondering if that little girl had gone and told Capella. Of course, it’d be good for the Witch Cult to lock him up so he wouldn’t be able to do anything, or interfere with their obscure objectives.</p><p>He pondered if the others had found Petra’s dead body, lay there underneath the shambles and wood of a house, he feared if, in his absence, they’d have to break the news to her parents.</p><p>Subaru knew he wouldn’t know how to do it himself.</p><p>He had let her permanently die. She was lost to his loops forever, and he had no way of getting her back. There’s never been a case where he’s gone back further back than before, so, there’s no way, that Petra can be brought back.</p><p>And now, he’s causing trouble for everyone else. He doesn’t deserve to live anymore.</p><p>Whimpering as he instinctively went to bite his lip to feel something other than guilt, he was met with the hard improvisation of the rope gag painfully rubbing itself against his skin.</p><p>He tried to speak the girl’s name, but he couldn’t find the words nor the strength. He wanted to call out to her and apologise, but alas, he couldn’t do anything.</p><p>Natsuki Subaru was powerless for the first time since he had came to this fantasy world.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I decided to make a little continuation of the other third trial speculation, because I think it's interesting to think about. Sorry if it feels rushed.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Scars (Subaru, Garfiel)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Oi, cap’n.. my amazin’ self has been thinkin’, where did yer get all those scars from, anyhow? I’ve noticed they’r’litt’red across yer stomach, arms, legs, yer god damn covered in ‘em, cap’n! My amazin’ self’s not complainin’ though, I think scars r’crazy cool.” </p><p>Garfiel blinked at Subaru, pointing towards his arms as they sat together in Otto’s Internal Affairs office, waiting for him to come back from a quick bathroom break. They perhaps shouldn’t be using his room to play Shatranj, but neither Subaru nor Garfiel cared overly much about disrupting Otto’s work, and Otto himself could use the time off. </p><p>“Ah, all this stuff?” Subaru, lifting his black shirt up to his belly button, revealing countless whitened scars, some more faded than others. “There’s a lot of places where I got all these. I agree with you, they’re super cool. I look like some sort of veteran warrior.” Subaru nodded to himself, grinning as he stared at his own scars.</p><p>They brought back some weird yet old memories for Subaru.</p><p>“So, can yer tell me about yer advent’res, cap’n?! My amazin’ self ‘s too curious not ter know!” Excitedly shuffling in his seat, Garfiel’s excitement was something Subaru could always marvel at. He was ever so keen to hear about Subaru’s tales, as if he was a great hero from the past. </p><p>Garfiel was really just a massive chuuni, that’s what Subaru thought. But he thought it was a rather a charming quality, and he loved bragging about his own feats, so the two matched together well whilst having conversations. Subaru had never imagined when he first arrived at the Sanctuary that Garfiel and he would get this close.</p><p>“Alright! Hmm, where do I start,” Tracing his stomach scars with his fingertip, Subaru winced at pain upon reaching some more recent ones, which Garfiel raised an eyebrow at. He promptly returned to his normal self though, peering eagerly at what story Subaru should choose to tell first. </p><p>“...This one’s from my almighty first encounter with the Bowel Hunter, Elsa! I triumphed of course, but left with this nasty one!” He placed his index finger on a mostly faded scar, covering a portion of his lower abdomen. </p><p>Garfiel smiled, his sharp canines poking out as he leaned forward, inspecting the scar by squinting his eyes. “So yer had a past encounter with th’Bowel Hunt’r? Yer never told me, Cap’n! ‘S insane, super cool! My amazin’ self beat her of course, with th’help of yerself.” </p><p>“Yeah, to be honest, it was... pretty terrifying. Having your bowels felt up isn’t a particularly pleasant feeling...” Looking up at the ceiling as if recalling something he didn’t wish to, Subaru sighed and looked back towards Garfiel. “Of course, Beako healed me right up, and it’s not like her healing was shabby or anything, but it left me with a scar.”</p><p>Garfiel continued to inspect his stomach, spotting tons of littler scars and scratches, bite marks on to his stomach. “What’re those? Bite marks, ‘s lookin’ pretty epic, Cap’n. What happened there?” Leaning back from before, he stared at Subaru and formed his hands into fists, resting them on the chair he was sat on, excitedly shuffling around. </p><p>“Oh, right! This was when I was defeating a pack of Ulgarm! They got the better of me once, so I went back afterwards and beat the hell out of them!” Subaru didn’t want to go into that much detail, especially since the Ulgarm incident involved Rem, which would be difficult to explain to Garfiel. Not to mention difficult for him to speak about, especially because Garfiel would probably go running his mouth to Ram, and he didn’t want to hear that awkward conversation.</p><p>“Ulgarm! Cap’n, yer super tough, yer know! Mabeasts like that’re pretty hard to beat, but of course yer pummelled them into the ground! It’s just like yer!” Garfiel’s eyes shined as he passionately spoke about Subaru, high expectations of him held within his heart. </p><p>Subaru smiled back at Garfiel in response, “Yeah! I’m super awesome, right?!” He pulled his shirt back down, pausing for a few seconds before staring at Garfiel’s whitened head scar, previously unexplained to him, “You know, Garfiel, I’ve never heard you talk about that scar on your forehead, either. It looks pretty badass, you know?” </p><p>“Oh, this? Ram did it to my amazin’ self, an’ I made sure ‘t wouldn’t disappear.” Garfiel smirked, remembering the times from when he and Ram were younger. He closed his eyes, triumphantly tilting his chin up with a beam. </p><p>Subaru narrowed his eyes, “I’m pretty scared for what that means ‘cause it reminds me of when people say stuff like ‘I’m never washing my hands again’! But you took it to the extreme level of leaving a permanent scar there...” Subaru awkwardly laughed.</p><p>“Ram’s pretty harsh, anyhow, I don’t get what you see in her,” Subaru exhaled disappointingly, the pink-haired maid appearing with a smug grin in his memory. “I’d love to say she likes you back, but she only has eyes for clowns.” </p><p>“Ehh, my amazin’ self thinks Ram’s harshness is her charm. I have high hopes th’t she’ll come ov’r to meself, eventually.” Garfiel dropped his chin, a faint blush appearing on his face at the mention of Ram. </p><p>Subaru wondered if he only liked her because she was the only female he had talked to other than his sister when he was younger. </p><p>A bursting open of the door interrupted them, “Alright, I’m back! What do you say about a round of Shatranj, Garfiel?” </p><p>“You took really long, Otto. Did you clog the toilet?” Subaru smiled whilst resting his head in his hands. </p><p>“No! Why would you even accuse me of that?!” Otto shouted back, quickly silencing himself because of it being pretty late. </p><p>“Here’s to a round o’Shatranj, Brotto!” Grabbing the cup of milk he had settled on the table, Garfiel chugged it in one and put his hand into the air. </p><p>The others quickly followed suit, chuckling erupting within the small room.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again! Today I have decided to write something sorta wholesome, so I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!</p><p>Also, I'm looking for ideas, so if any of you guys are interested in me writing something (whether it be a short one-shot or an entire series lol) you can comment suggestions here!<br/>(don't mind me trying to get ideas)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Seasick (Subaru, Beako, Otto, Emilia, Garfiel)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“————“</p><p>“...I didn’t catch what you said just now, I suppose.”</p><p>Feeling the impact of Beatrice’s statement piercing through his tired head, Subaru continued trying to sway himself along to the boat’s rhythm, to eventually stop as he felt gazes upon himself. Addressing their concerns, Subaru turned his head and smiled,</p><p>“Crap, I’m gonna puke.”</p><p>His face instantly paled as he wobbled along with the boat, Otto being the first to spring into action and steady Subaru as he became more out of it, eventually vomiting out something that looked like bile into the waterways of Priestella. It wasn’t an extremely pretty sight, no.</p><p>“Natsuki-san... Gosh, why didn’t you tell us beforehand? If you were possibly going to feel this ill, we would have left you and Beatrice at the inn.” Otto voiced his concern, patting Subaru’s back as he coughed out the remaining fluid, but his facial expression once again tightened as he prepared himself for another round of vomiting.</p><p>Beatrice sighed, “Subaru did say he was... Easily sea sick, I suppose. But Betty didn’t imagine he’d shamelessly throw up into the waters of Priestella, in fact. How embarrassing...” Beatrice facepalmed, peering through the gaps of her fingers to see if her contractor was alright despite her harsh words, helping Otto steady him.</p><p>Garfiel was mostly at a loss for words and Emilia only just realised what happened, rushing to Subaru’s side. “Subaru! Are you alright? We could stop here and start to walk on foot, if it’d help...” Emilia put her hand in a fist and placed it on her chest, widening her eyes at the scene that had unfolded. Otto exhaled disappointingly at Emilia’s reply.</p><p>“I’m afraid that we can’t afford to all walk on foot. The longer we keep the other party waiting, the worse our impression will be.” Seeing that Subaru had sat down on the floor with Beatrice, he turned towards Emilia and Garfiel with a frown.</p><p>“So... th’cap’n’s vomitin’ like there’s no tomorrow, so we gotta go on despite the losses that we’ve accumulated, huh.” Garfiel wiped his eye as if they were leaving Subaru behind to die, or something. Subaru gave him a pitiful glance as if confirming this jokingly and Emilia looked awfully confused, meaning they had achieved their objective of being idiotic dorks.</p><p>“It’d probably be for the best, but... Beatrice, you should stay with Subaru, and make sure he doesn’t do anything silly, okay? I’m trusting you with it.” The sincere look in Emilia’s eyes quickly got Beatrice on to her side, and she nodded, twirling the ends of her drills.</p><p>“Well, if Betty must, I suppose there’s no other choice, in fact.” Beatrice pulled a smug face.</p><p>“If you can.. Eugh... Spend all day talking about how cute you are, can you spare a few moments to take me off of this cursed boat?”</p><p>A little murmur from Subaru was all it took to dissolve the fuss and lead the two off of the boat.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A little bit of what I imagine happened when Subaru said that he was gonna puke in Arc 5! For no other reason than me wanting to write anything, anything at all. Sorry I haven’t been active recently.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Constellations (Subaru, Beako)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A hand pointed up to the sky, trying to reach something that was no longer there. </p><p>The patterns and frequency of them weren’t as he remembered at all! It was completely different to what he was used to.</p><p>After resolving to glance at the stars during the night time, he sighed disappointingly. He’d never paid that much attention to the stars in this world thus far but he finally decided to stop and see if there were any he recognised. Making Lugnica an entirely different place than his old world.</p><p>“Dang it, I was gonna show Beako all this later... My plans have been completely ruined..!” Subaru tugged his legs close to his chest, quickly sweeping off the bits of grass that had annoyingly rubbed off on his leg. He did take a moment to open his eyes up again, staring up at the night sky.</p><p>“But wow, I... didn’t expect it to look this good. It’s too bad light pollution blocks all this beauty in my world.”</p><p>Stars cluttered the night sky like sugar spilt over black marble, shining brightly despite the contrast. Subaru faintly smiled, feeling the light wind blow against his black hair. The constellations of this world were watching over him as he stared back into centuries of history, most of which he wouldn’t be able to comprehend. In that moment, his eyes smiled and his breathing deepened, even if just for a moment, taking in the beauty. </p><p>“What are you doing out here, looking so satisfied with yourself, I suppose?”</p><p>A voice, laden with the innocence of a little girl, cut through his tranquility. He didn’t mind too much though as she came and sat next to him, turning her head towards him in slight confusion. </p><p>“Hey, Beako. I was just planning a surprise for you, don’t you know how rude it is to intrude on that?” Finally taking a break from the insurgence of stars from the setting of the sun, Subaru smiled at Beatrice as she came to sit next to him.<br/>
<br/>
Beatrice frowned in confusion. “A surprise? While it does make Betty curious to know what Subaru was exactly planning in this cold, where have you been for the past hour, in fact?” The little girl snuggled in close to Subaru, sniffling as she hid her lower face in her hands, almost too comfortable with him.</p><p>Subaru scratched his cheek. “That? Oh, well... I had Petra distract you for a while to prepare for the surprise. Didn’t realise you’d enjoy your time with her so much that you’d come back half an hour late, though, Beako.” Making a face that suggested he was sad solely to tease Beatrice, he held back the urge to smile at how well Petra and Beatrice got along. Petra was the perfect candidate for distracting the easily flustered Beatrice, friendly and naïve. </p><p>“Betty! Did! Not!” Puffing her cheeks up, Beatrice turned away from Subaru while still sniffling. Subaru, upon seeing he had achieved his goal, smiled satisfyingly at Beatrice’s defeat. </p><p>Patting her head and cutting her some slack for a moment, Subaru flashed a grin towards her. “But you totally love hanging out with Petra, don’t you? I told you playing out with people your age would be good for you, Beako.” Acting like a fatherly figure in the moment, Subaru brought Beatrice close per her request. </p><p>“Maybe Subaru is forgetting how old Betty is, I suppose. I’m hundreds of years older, in fact. Betty doesn’t need to ‘hang out’ with any little girls.” A blush appearing on her face, reminiscing about the past hour. </p><p>Subaru simply smiled at her. She was being a total tsundere, Subaru thought. Of course she loved being with Petra no matter how much she protested, she had missed out on all those moments in her life where she’d get the chance to be a little girl. Petra is... growing up with her, almost.</p><p>A few seconds passed in silence, Subaru reaching for Beatrice’s hand in search of comfort in the moment. Without a word, she intertwined her hand around his, a draining sensation filling Subaru’s chest area. Of course, it was Beatrice’s usual mana drain. They had to maintain it through physical contact in the day to keep her around. </p><p>It hurt a little, but Subaru would endure it to keep Beatrice around with him. She has become one of his most valued friends and allies, he could almost view her as a little sister. Everyone in the Emilia Camp recognised how close they were and some, such as Emilia and Ram, found it baffling that they had grown so close in such a short time, especially after how far apart they seemed around the time of the Ulgarm attack. </p><p>Subaru didn’t find it that weird at all though. They had formed a contract within flames and defeated the Great Rabbit together. Over the past few months, they had been bonding and learning more about one another. Their bond was truly rock solid, no matter how much teasing took place. </p><p>“You said you were cold, right?” Subaru shot this question into the air, the shivering Beatrice’s teeth chattering as she replied with a nod of the head. Before, she would have denied it entirely. Subaru kneeled up with a slight grunt, zipping down his tracksuit jacket and taking it off, leaving him with only his shirt. He promptly wrapped it around Beatrice’s shoulders, her eyes holding gratitude.</p><p>Sitting himself back down, Subaru pulled Beatrice in closer while he was sat cross-legged, placing her on his lap, wrapping his arms around her. Moving Beatrice was no problem whatsoever as she was as light as a feather, even lighter than she looked. To Subaru who had been training to become physically stronger, she basically *was* a feather.</p><p>“It smells of sweat, I suppose.” Smirking as she accepted him moving her to his lap, her mood instantly perked up as she made this comment.</p><p>Subaru paused for a moment, looking down dejectedly. “If you don’t wanna wear it, be my guest and take it off.”</p><p>“Maybe Betty wi— gahahaha- stop, stop!” Struggling where she sat, she jumped about in Subaru’s lap as he began to tickle her. “Tickling is— no, not fair, I.. s-suppose! Hahaha!”</p><p>Hearing Beatrice laugh sincerely was once in a lifetime, so Subaru took it upon himself to have Beako Tickle Time once in a while. And because she had began to tease him back, it was payback time. “Take this, you drill loli spirit!” </p><p>Tears formed at Beatrice’s eyes as she laughed, and Subaru felt his own eyes tearing up for a moment. He just wanted to make her happy, and seeing her laugh and smile like this is all that he ever wanted to do with her. </p><p>After Beatrice calmed down a little, she steadied herself in his lap and smiled to herself faintly. This is all she had wanted as well. For someone to make it into her life who could make her laugh and smile every day, but she had never imagined it’d be Natsuki Subaru to break her out of her seemingly endless rut. </p><p>A few more minutes passed as they sat together in silence, simply enjoying one another’s company as they once again intertwined their hands, both filled with happiness caused from each other.</p><p>Beatrice finally decided to speak up, rosy cheeks dimpled from the smiling. “Why did Subaru want Betty to come out here in the first place, I suppose? What was the surprise, in fact?” Beatrice tilted her head in confusion. He was outside, on the grass. What could that have to do about anything?</p><p>Subaru hesitated a moment, realising he couldn’t show her what he originally intended to, leading to him glancing down in disappointment for a moment. But he swiftly turned his eyes back towards the sky. “Beako, look up.” Is everything he spoke, and everything she needed to hear.</p><p>Following his command, Beatrice turned her butterfly irises towards the night skies. Her mouth fell open in surprise at what awaited her. She had stared at the stars before, but this time... it felt different. The way Subaru’s arms were wrapped around her lovingly and the stars didn’t seem to be staring down at her in pity like they used to. They were welcoming her curious eyes, letting her indulge in every twinkle. </p><p>All that could escape her lips was a faint gasp of amazement.</p><p>Subaru smiled, satisfied with her reaction. “They’re really pretty, aren’t they? I wanted to show you the constellations that were in my previous world, but this night sky isn’t the same as my homeland’s. There’s no Ursa Major or Ursa Minor, Draco, Cepheus... It’s kinda disappointing. You could even see the Milky Way if you went to Tottori. My parents took me there on a trip once, and wow, it was really pretty.” Spouting things that meant mostly nothing to his contracted spirit, he rambled about one of the things he was most passionate about. Beatrice didn’t even know what a con-stell-ah-shon was, but if Subaru liked them, she knew she was sure to like them too.</p><p>Still, she pointed at the night sky, “What’s a constellation, I suppose?” Eager to hear an explanation about things Subaru usually never opened up about to anybody, she shuffled in his lap and pulled his tracksuit jacket tighter over her body.</p><p>“Oh, right... I’ve never talked about any of this, really, but a constellation is like a group of stars. The people who see them name them after what they look like, or something along those lines.” Subaru scratched the back of his head, staring up at the glimmering snowflakes in the sky.</p><p>“So I was thinking, maybe... instead of me showing you constellations from my world, we could make up new ones here.” Subaru pointed to a group of stars on the left side of the sky, joining them together with his finger and making it apparent to Beatrice which one he was looking at. “You see, like.. this one sort of looks like Otto.”</p><p>Incidentally, the constellation he pointed at was something resembling a wonky human being, wobbling along with a bigger part at the top. Subaru took that as Otto’s hat, and went from there. </p><p>“We can name it the Ottom.” </p><p>This was enough to get a smile of amusement from Beatrice, who pointed at a nearby clutter of shining stars. “That one is the smiling face of a reckless idiot that Betty is awfully attached to, I suppose. It’s called the Subadot, in fact.” Looking satisfied with herself, Beatrice grinned. </p><p>“And next to it there is the Beakol. It’s hunched over because the constellation is carrying the weight of the world on her back. But she’s also smiling because she’s close to the Subadot, who always show up in the night sky together.” Subaru’s finger pointed towards the two. He didn’t know if it was true that the two always showed up together, but he hoped it was.</p><p>Beatrice smiled back at her contractor with gratitude. </p><p>“They’ll always be together, I suppose...”</p><p>Beatrice looked down at the familiar tracksuit with a saddened grimace. “Doesn’t Subaru... have to leave Betty someday, as you are only mortal, I suppose?” </p><p>Subaru furrowed his brows for a second, patting the lonesome Beatrice on the head. “You’re worrying about something that won’t happen for another, well, ninety years or so, Beako. Live in the moment with me so you won’t regret anything for a second.” Hugging her from the back, Subaru beamed, shining his ray of happiness down on his spirit.</p><p>“E-eugh, I suppose...” </p><p>Bringing the tracksuit up to her face, Beatrice concealed herself and hid within the shell that was Subaru’s clothing. </p><p>Subaru could swear he could hear her mumbling about how it wasn’t fair. Subaru sighed, pulling the tracksuit down with little to no force, enough to rip it from her tiny hands. He held both of them in his and turned her head to face his.</p><p>“Beako—No, Beatrice. What you’re scared of will happen eventually. I’m not gonna sugarcoat that. But all I want for you is to live your best life now so it can make up for all that time you spent in that dusty library alone. Have yourself so much fun that you won’t regret anything when it comes to a close.” </p><p>Wiping her tears with his thumb, she tilted her chin up to stare at his face, illuminated by the glow of the moonlight and stars above them, the many constellations made up by the both of them watching over.</p><p>Subaru lowered his voice, as if he was speaking to a child who was struggling to sleep, telling them wild tales about the universe, “Listen, did you know my name is a star cluster? Therefore, if you’re worried about me dying, you can know that I’m always gonna watch over you in the stars. You’re never getting rid of me, Beako. And I’m not going to try and leave you like the fake asshole who never came to rescue you. I’m here, Beatrice.”</p><p>Beatrice stared at Subaru as he voiced his thoughts, directed towards her. She came to a realisation that he would die eventually. All humans do. She was just cursed to live until someone did kill her, and that’s what she had wished for only a few months ago until she let go of it all and finally clung on to a real person, not a book that had deceived her, subtly telling her and whispering to her that her life didn’t matter.</p><p>“I love you, Beako.” Subaru brought her into his arms, lifting her up into the air with a mischievous grin. “And I’m never letting go, so let’s make some stupid constellations up and talk about whatever we want.”</p><p>“Betty loves you too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I decided to drop the idea of doing a multi chaptered fic because I realised most of the chapters I had planned would be one shots anyways. So, I’ll upload them all here instead, and think of something else! I still genuinely have no ideas, but I’ve been jotting down notes on stuff I could do for them. Again, any suggestions for anything for me to write would be really appreciated as I can incorporate things into a big fic or just little one shots.</p><p>(Sorry if you’re reading this victoriousdragon haha)</p><p>I hope you guys enjoyed this one! I rushed to the ending a little though, so excuse it if the grammar seems a little off.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. War (Subaru)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something was surging in his chest, or stomach. He couldn’t be too sure anymore. Not with the repulsive sight of gore spread across hitherto pristine fields. The emerald grass has been painted with a fresh coat of deep crimson from the battle that had taken place in exactly this spot not too long ago. The pungent stench of fresh, rotting corpses filled his nose. He wanted to vomit. Vomit everything out that he was feeling right now. Get away from this, return by death, die, he’ll do anything to get this out of his mind.</p><p>After all, he was too late to save them.</p><p>Disgust and pure malice towards the one who had commenced this battle rose in the injured Subaru’s heart. Compared to the wounds in his heart, the ones on the outside meant nothing. He felt empty. Empty enough that his heart could let the large guilt settle in, but too little to see what had truly unfolded in this sick joke by God.</p><p>He had spent way too long playing the waiting game.</p><p>Otto, Garfiel, Rem, Ram, Emilia. Their corpses were all lay out nearby each other. Maybe it’d be too generous to say that they were lay out. Instead they were thrown and scattered in twisted and revolting positions on top of one another that would cause bones to easily snap. And they were, as far as Subaru could see.</p><p>And of course, he knew what had happened to Beatrice, and why she wasn’t present here. There was remnants of scattered, blue fragments on the floor.</p><p>He finally fell to his knees, losing all strength to stand in front of the remainder of his friends, which he hesitated too much to get closer to. Vomiting on the spot, he felt a warm sensation drip down his chin, letting itself break through his eyes as lines and colours blurred together. Subaru held himself tight, refusing to accept this reality. </p><p>One of Emilia’s limbs had been torn off and taken somewhere Subaru couldn’t see on the field. Blood seeped out from underneath her and one had to question how much she suffered.</p><p>He was alone. No Emilia to scold him when he’d tease her too much, no Beatrice to make sure he wasn’t slacking off. No Otto to make sure he was relying on others and no Garfiel to make up silly chuuni names with. No Ram to jokingly insult him and no Rem to tell him to stand himself up.</p><p>Realising this, Subaru clutched his head and sobbed to himself, sobbed in a lost, war-torn field.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey everyone! This is something I just wrote on a whim, sorry it’s pretty sad. This isn’t really based off anything, so slot it in the story wherever you’d like. You could call it theorising of mine if you wanna. </p><p>Thanks for reading again, everyone!</p><p>And happy new year!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. There (Subaru, Emilia)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thick blood seeped down his arm. The feeling was intoxicating. He couldn’t stop.</p><p>“Subaru?”</p><p>Wrapped up in his own thoughts, Subaru inflicted the ragged cuts, just to wipe away his pain.</p><p>“Subar..u..”</p><p>The girl’s voice resounded in the room and rang and bounced in his ears, alarming his nerves enough to make him flinch. He still doesn’t look up at her, unable to see her face. He couldn’t bring himself to.</p><p>“Subaru.. I, huh.. huh? Why...” Confusion spread across her scrunched up face. Time slowly elapsed and Subaru wished it would just all be over. </p><p>Rushing over to her knight’s side, Emilia kneeled in concern and took his hands into hers, finally taking into account the depth at which he had been scratching. She was mostly speechless, blinking in disbelief, staring at the careless Subaru.</p><p>Slowly removing his hand from his arm, Emilia quietly gasped. He held no resistance whatsoever, allowing her to grip his hand firmly for reassurance and to tell him indirectly that it was alright.</p><p>This was probably her fault.</p><p>Upon a simple observation of his arms, one could see dozens of scars and healing wounds carved into his skin, old and new. Struggling for room to fit more, he had chosen to mindlessly scratch over his healing wounds, scarring tissue hanging over. The deep cuts lay against an unfinished canvas, a horrifying painting’s creation interrupted by Emilia. </p><p>It wasn’t fair.</p><p>“What... what are... these from, Subaru?” </p><p>Her voice was incredibly shaky. Every word wobbled as she carefully spoke to her knight, curled up in his own failures. Enough to be backed into a corner. Enough to do this to himself. </p><p>Of course, she already knew the answer to her own question. Subaru was trying to avoid her gaze as he refused to answer.</p><p>“Subaru, why...?”</p><p>He couldn’t answer. He couldn’t breathe. He definitely couldn’t look up at her truthfully anymore and answer her with a smile. </p><p>He was seconds away from having a full blown panic attack.</p><p>Emilia brushed her fingers gently on to the wounds, Subaru flinching in response. Blood stuck to her fingers and leaked back on to his arms, the pair both grimacing in the situation.</p><p>He hadn’t made a single cry, weep or sob since she had entered the room. Perhaps it was because she viewed him as something he needed to protect again — the heroine that can’t do anything for herself. Emilia pushed aside her thoughts.</p><p>Light illuminated the room, illustrating the swaying of a deep ocean on the walls, lacing up Subaru’s injuries with magic beyond the knowledge of the boy. He finally let out a sigh, tears visibly welling up in his eyes despite him trying to hold them back. The healing was painful, Emilia was sure of it. Having your skin stitched back together forcefully wasn’t a pleasant experience. </p><p>But Subaru had these tears, threatening to blur lines and familiar shapes together, because he wouldn’t want to break relationships with those he loves because he’s weak. He has asked Emilia to lend him her lap if he was exhausted. This, the lacerations engraved into his arms, were his way of telling himself that he can’t bother her with such stupid things.</p><p>Emilia furrowed her brows, “..If it hurts, tell me. I can... stop...” Emilia halted her magic in any case, finally seating herself next to him on the untidy bed. She took his hands into hers, carefully avoiding his cuts with her fingers.</p><p>“Emilia, I... I’m so, so sorry.”</p><p>“...Subaru, I’m sorry too. Because I’m weak, I caused you to do this to yourself and hurt yourself really bad.” Emilia stared on to her lap, clenching her fists and pushing them against her thighs. </p><p>Subaru finally took a moment to glance up at Emilia, her gaze withdrawn heartbrokenly. Guilt had already settled in his chest ever since he had first died, but it panged and wrestled with his heartbeat here. Tears had similarly formed in her eyes and she had let them spill, Subaru biting his lip in frustration.</p><p>They sat there together and time gathered up the courage to pass despite the tension in the air being so thick you could slice it with a knife. </p><p>Emilia finally wiped her tears, though, and met Subaru’s longing gaze. She widened her eyes, seeing how empty they looked. He had seen everything that she didn’t in order to protect her. She hated how she always has to be protected from everything. She’s so useless on her own.</p><p>The glint of familiarity in those determined eyes of his had finally faded, showing Emilia a side of Subaru she had never witnessed before. Her heart skipped a beat in anxiety as she gripped his hands once more, squeezing them with enough force to unawarely make him flinch. This brought him back to reality as Emilia moved closer, her arms wrapped around his torso as he struggled to process what was happening, pushing him backwards with her weight crushing his unprepared body. </p><p>“...Subaru, you dummy.” Inhaling in with a quick pitch change, she sniffled up the remaining parts of her anxiety and gripped his body tighter, Subaru’s eyes struggling to focus on the ceiling of the room as she continued to speak.</p><p>“...I want to know, too, you know. It’s not fair if you don’t tell me and everyone else knows. Not fair at all.” Lifting up her face to be next to his, their faces became so close that it was possible for them to feel their breaths sweep across the other’s face. </p><p>“Emilia.. I—“</p><p>Emilia’s face turned stern. “No, I want to know. I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense, I want to know. I’m here if you need me, and I’ll get reaaaallly angry if you don’t come and see me if you ever need it. You matter the world to me, Subaru...” Suddenly realizing the weight of her words, Emilia blushed, eyes widening. Just the sight of this is enough for Subaru to smile. </p><p>Emilia wiped away his tears as he smiled at her, proclaiming his thank yous to her.</p><p>Maybe it wasn’t her fault, after all.</p><p>The two shared a quiet moment together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>One of my fics hitting 10,000 words? It’s more likely than you think.<br/>I wrote this because I wanted to imagine Emilia’s reaction, but I don’t think I wrote her that well. Hopefully she was in character enough for you to enjoy it.</p><p>This is pretty rushed as well, I wrote it in a little under 30 minutes. Hopefully you understand, I just wanted to write something, anything at all! If you get what I mean, lol.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. The End of All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ah, sh...it... Emi, lia...”</p><p>Coughing up the remainders of blood from his mouth to hinder himself from suffocating, he reached out to the woman shrouded in shadows while spread on the floor. The monstrosity held too many memories that it caused one’s head to hurt if they drew too close. </p><p>Satella, once more, had absorbed this fraction of the Earth. He was expected to finish her, as she had instructed him back then, but he had selfishly sought to save everyone. He had jeopardized it all, and in return he had been greeted with a merciless future.</p><p>Ram had been utilized to vanquish the Divine Dragon by Roswaal, just as his copy of the Tome of Knowledge had told him before it had blazed. Otto had repaired it, trying to discover if Roswaal L Mathers had ulterior motives, rather than to just blindly follow Subaru. Frederica had become easy bait with her rare blood, perishing in the process as a simple pawn in Roswaal’s ambitious plan, and Ram had rented the power of Rem’s own horn, slaying both of the twins in a brutal deathmatch between the Divine Dragon and two oni sisters. </p><p>Desperate, Roswaal shed tears as Subaru reached out to the two maid sisters, clutching the chance to use Cor Leonis to acquire their burden, to keep them alive, even if for a second longer. It could allow healers, accomplished ones, to reach close and treat the two.<br/>Subaru arrived too late. The two were twisted in gruesome forms, blue and red hair both matted with vivid crimson. He vomited, he felt his insides churning as he heaved on all fours. He didn’t choose to see the two deceased. These two sisters, that he had known for moments, years on end. Too many years spent with Rem, gaining her trust in him anew. He could redo, but... undoubtedly, he had come too distant to a favourable save point.</p><p>Roswaal was shattered. He begged of Subaru to wield his authority. Subaru had scrunched up his face, the other man still oblivious to the cost of death.</p><p>Garfiel Tinsel, the now young man, was left forlorn, tears cascading down his face relentlessly at his sister’s and the oni sister’s death. Subaru didn’t know what to tell him. He didn’t know what to say now anymore.</p><p>To make matters more impossible, the rumor had appeared that Satella had come back. Subaru’s heart sunk. His companions heart’s sunk. </p><p>They realized the truth of what had arisen.</p><p>The world was due to be consumed once more, this time with no residue of life.</p><p>The remaining allies with an inkling of hope to save the world assembled in the Capital City, Lugnica. Citizens were fleeing, but there was nothing to be done anymore. Reinhardt Van Astrea, the so-called hero, had died a long time ago.</p><p>Otto Suwen, Patrasche, Garfiel Tinsel, Meili Portroute, Ryuzus, Anastasia Hoshin, Julius Juukulius, Fang of Iron, Felt, Rom, Ton, Chin, Kan, Liliana Masquerade, anyone nearby.</p><p>His friends, comrades, allies, one by one, had defended him as he advanced closer to the Witch of Envy, insisting he had an idea. </p><p>The standing people threw their lives aside for a chance that Subaru wasn’t even certain about. It hadn’t even worked. They were all dead, the comrades he had come so close to surviving with, the comrades he had gathered throughout his journey, those he knew so well.</p><p>Destroyed.</p><p>Right before his eyes, they were all gripped, torn, mangled, severed, dismembered, eaten, ripped, so this woeful woman could get the future she craved with Subaru. </p><p>At the edge of his eyes, he noticed Beatrice was the lone survivor, desperately struggling to rebuild his broken body. She had been the only one to remain alongside Subaru, and the profusely bleeding wounds and burns inflicted on the left side and right side of his body respectively bled and throbbed. His missing arm lay somewhere on the field of gore, a trail of blood leading from it. He would unquestionably perish if it weren’t for Beatrice. </p><p>“Hold on, Subaru, Betty’s... Betty’s got you, I suppose... Stay still..!”<br/>Sniffling and rubbing her bloodshot eyes with Subaru’s blood, she read as if she were about to topple. Her carefully stored mana was effectively retired, and she had used up all the mana crystals they had carried with them in order to allow Beatrice to fight without having to rely on Subaru’s puny mana storage. Now, she had nothing left. She was forced to empty out Subaru’s mana just to return it back to him through healing, and it made him feel impoverished. He wished to close his eyes, welcome death so greatly. </p><p>Satella had ceased attacking them, preoccupied with tearing through fields and fields of fighters to get through to Subaru. They were all swallowed in the broad swamp of her shadow, blanketing the world in complete isolation, connecting consciousnesses.</p><p>Beatrice felt her eyes closing, but she mustn’t waver. Not when this was the last chance, and Subaru was deteriorating. She knew about it. Him dying, returning whenever he did. It was spilt quite a lengthy time ago merely to Beatrice by Aldebaran, but she had never truly discussed it with Subaru. She never could. Beatrice knew of the repercussions and who Subaru’s authority belonged to. These authorities, in fact, were piling on top of him and he was battling to remain sane. He was declared a Sage by so many individuals, but he was honestly at the threshold of insanity. He had taken up more of the habits he used to do infrequently, unsettling her to absolutely no end.</p><p>Subaru felt tears well up in his eyes as he gawked at the mountain of shadow stood before him. Beatrice and Subaru exchanged no words, but they both knew who was inside that veil of darkness, who wore those jet-black clothes. The veil only concealed her appearance before mortals who saw her face died of utter madness. </p><p>He wanted to recognise it as only the Witch of Envy. He truly did.</p><p>A half-elf, her smile enveloping his world in a shade that he had never contemplated before. Lighting up his life like the sun kissing the Earth throughout the day - filling him with elation and sincerity, sustaining his own grin. He was so, so delighted to be around her. On nights she felt alone, he would hold her close and tell her she was safe. On nights where he felt useless, she would come and tell him it was alright.</p><p>The woman under the veil was none other than Emilia.</p><p>Her body had been possessed, taken away from him, forced into her by a consciousness that wasn’t her own. Forced to see memories that she never had. The Witch of Envy had successfully reincarnated herself into the world, using Emilia as a vessel. He had fucked up. Oh, God, he had fucked up. The tears didn’t have the willpower run down his face as he received her agonising screams. Subaru couldn’t fathom it, no matter how many times it had happened.</p><p>As the eminence of purply black approached, Beatrice couldn’t do anything but clutch Subaru and scream. It was over, they could never succeed. </p><p>Cor Leonis had been fruitless. After his allies had plunged into Satella’s shadows, he had tried to take their burdens or feel any... insurgence of warmth, light, where they were. There was nothing. Nothing at all. They had completely died. He could only see three lights anymore.<br/>“I love you.”</p><p>He despised that voice; the bells manipulated by a puppet string.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>The louder it became, the more strength he seemed to lose.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Beatrice quivered in fear, decisively turning up her head, tears clogging her eyes as she clasped Subaru’s jacket.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Leaning on her knee to stand up, Beatrice smiled at Subaru and although he couldn’t hear anything except that voice, he read her lips.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“Thank you, for everything, Subaru. I love you.”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>She stood, holding up her hand.</p><p>“I love-“</p><p>“I am Beatrice, Natsuki Subaru’s faithful contracted spirit.”</p><p>“I-“</p><p>“MINYA!”</p><p>Screaming these words with the last breath of her heart, Beatrice cast the spell. </p><p>Too quick to be comprehended, Subaru stared as he watched Beatrice’s body burst in two, blue colours and shapes filling the air, obliterated in less than a second. He caught the rest of her smile as she died.</p><p>“You, bitch...” </p><p>Subaru leaned upwards, flinching as he felt his wounds seething with pain. His organs felt jumbled and disorganised, as if someone had stuck their hand in and tugged, tore it apart. Blood had rapidly left his body, leaving him as pale as a ghost.</p><p>“I love you.” A smile was on her face. The face that did not belong to the one who gifted such emotion to him.<br/>Subaru knew that this wasn’t the Satella he had faced in the tea party so long ago. It was someone else. Someone who had forced herself into the body of both souls. The Witch of Envy.</p><p>“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back. Love me back.”</p><p>Subaru lost all of his drive in that moment, his face falling on to the ground, only being able to see the black sky. The stars were present. How pretty.</p><p>Subaru had recalled when he had stargazed with Beatrice, naming constellations with one another. He looked back when he had spoken with Emilia underneath those stars, sharing a moment. He craved to go back.</p><p>Someone kneeled next to him.<br/>Tears were running down her face, but he could not see her eyes. </p><p>He pulled off the veil that always impeded them.</p><p>He wiped away her tears with the power he had been given. Sloth.</p><p>At that moment, they melted together and became one with the power he had been given. Lust.</p><p>He took it in, devouring the sight with the power he had been given. Gluttony.</p><p>He had gained everything he loved with her, with the power he had been given. Greed.</p><p>He couldn’t forgive the absurdity of not being with her, so he chose her with the power he had been given. Wrath.</p><p>He scorned everything else that was not her, savouring the moment with the power he had been given. Pride.</p><p>He finally embraced her, letting go of his envy for the world.</p><p>“I love you, so much.” The girl mumbled, and he beamed back. “Natsuki Subaru,”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>His vision faded to black.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello everyone! I hope you're all enjoying the continuation of S2 as much as I am, the kiss yesterday was just... wow. I really wanted to write something related to that but this work has been sat unfinished for so long, and what better time to write about the world ending? </p><p>This includes some of my theories (albeit subtly for some of them), such as Roswaal using Ram, Rem and Frederica to defeat Volcanica. If you noticed the absence of the Crusch Camp and Priscilla Camp as well in the naming of allies, it's because I theorize that both camps will die. But we'll see, I guess. I thought that about Reinhardt as well, since there's so many Q&amp;As about Reinhardt with the answer 'spoiler', and I don't know if Tappei is just messing with us or Reinhardt's actually gonna lose his blessings at some point. I'm excited!</p><p>Sorry if this wasn't very well written either, I kind of rushed the ending. I hope you enjoyed it anyways!</p><p>Thank you for reading !</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Zero (Subaru, Rem)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You know, Rem, sometimes I see you when you’re not really there,”</p><p>Casually expressing his thoughts into the night and the night alone, Subaru sat alone. That was, other than the sweet girl lay on the bed next to him, lips sewn together with a needle against her will. He would come to speak to the light rise and fall of her chest when he’s unsure or wanting that comfort that the girl always brings him. </p><p>Her eyes are deep oceans that he longed to dive into once more. They’re glued to her skin, unable to flutter them open without assistance. </p><p>“I ask you why you’re here, but you never answer me. You just sit there and smile.” </p><p>Staring up towards the familiar ceiling, he smiled bittersweetly. The pricks of anxiety in his heart are particularly apparent today - he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because he was again scared that Rem would leave him once she was awakened. Maybe he wouldn’t wake her up in the first place. </p><p>Subaru gently brought out her pale, bony fingers from underneath the covers, holding it within the warmth of his own. Feeling the girl’s familiar hands is enough to bring a smile to his pained expression. </p><p>“I wonder if that’s actually you, or just me trying to imagine that you’re there.”</p><p>Folding his fingers across her palm, gripping it with the gentlest force imaginable. He had been hesitant to even touch her at first - it was like she was a spring flower, beautiful once bloomed; wilting away slowly as the spring disappeared. Subaru was scared that the spring would disappear for her soon.</p><p>He yearned for her touch, the blush on her cheeks and the way her pink lips hesitated to open before she spoke. The way her blue hair shined brightly against the sun and viewed like the sun’s reflection in the water. The way her laugh manages to make him so uneasy.</p><p>He’s so unsure, eager. Paranoid. Anticipating the moment the sleeping beauty wakes up.</p><p>She could forget who he is entirely. Their entire history erased together, but maybe he could start her life from zero just how she allowed him to start from step one — scratch that, even. From zero.</p><p>The moon shined through the curtains, brushing past her pale skin and glowing that delicate face of hers. </p><p>Subaru moved closer, putting her hand against his chest, feeling tears cascade his face, navigating through the slight wrinkles of his shaky smile. He felt so much suppressed inside of him, but he would be able to let it all go once she wakes up. He will finally be able to tell her all of these things, and she would be able to speak back without her sewn mouth. Imagining her ocean eyes. Imagining her blushed skin. Imagining the movement of her dormant body after so long.</p><p>They can start from zero.</p><p>“Isn’t that right, Rem?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Her (Subaru, Rem, Ram)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Rem..."</p><p>The girl's eyes, deep as the earth's oceans, stared back at him. He was scared that he'd fall deep in those oceans if he looked for too long. Time seemed to slow down as she blinked, long eyelashes brushing gently across the tops of her red cheeks.</p><p>"Rem, I..."</p><p>He couldn't find words to say as he choked out a sob, eyes blurring as they brimmed with tears. The sun, peering into the room, kissed her gentle features, lighting up her blue hair with ease. She briefly widened her mouth, hesitant to speak. She instead sealed her lips together tightly, forming it into a smile, eyes narrowing in joy.</p><p>The sight brought Subaru so much joy that he didn't know how to properly respond.</p><p>"Subaru-kun."</p><p>Her first words, after almost a year. Subaru attentively glanced up at her, anxiety prickling at his heart in anticipation. </p><p>She remembered him. It was evident by the honorific, she remembered him! His heart skipped a beat.</p><p>"Thank you, my hero."</p><p>Her smile was one of a spring flower blooming in the first days. Subaru could see how it lit up her eyes, spreading to every inch of her previously dormant body. </p><p>The way her lips lifted upwards.</p><p>The warm glow her smile delivered.</p><p>The butterflies dissipated from his stomach, letting the sun shine down upon him. He wasn't sure if this was Rem's simple smile or the real sun hitting him with its rays - but either way, he was sure to receive a sunburn.</p><p>"Rem..!"</p><p>He couldn't control himself any longer. Not after she had disappeared for so long. </p><p>The needy boy pulled her into a hug, her eyes widening as her mouth was left slightly agape in shock. Then, she smiled once more and pulled him in closer.</p><p>"Rem, I've... missed you. So much. You don't know how-"</p><p>"I know."</p><p>Those two words, ones of which he had heard before, were enough to drive him to tears once more. He didn't care about the shame of it anymore, pushing his sob soaked face into her shoulder. Subaru just wanted Rem's touch. He wanted to feel that she was really there, really back.</p><p>Rem didn't speak any words for a while. The scene was him sobbing into her shoulder, asking for forgiveness for not being able to wake her up sooner. The girl simply ran her fingers through his hair, savouring every moment as she finally held her hero in her own hands once more, absentmindedly used to this already. Rem loved him, so dearly.</p><p>"I'm so sorry."</p><p>"It's okay, Subaru-kun."</p><p>Closing her eyes softly, she embraced him and wiped the tears from his eyes, holding him close.</p><p>"I'm so, sorry for not letting you... live out these moments with everyone. If I could have traded my life for yours here, it would be so much better if..."</p><p>Hysteria running through his veins, Subaru ached to apologise more. He remembered wishing to love himself more. So much for that.</p><p>"No. Rem has already heard. Subaru-kun has saved countless lives and made countless new allies, that you don't need to worry about switching places with me. I'm just fine, as I am."</p><p>Gripping his shoulders firmly and pushing him so she could see his scrunched up expression, she flicked his forehead.</p><p>"Don't talk as if you are just a dispensable part of whatever is happening. You matter to so many people, Subaru-kun. Especially me. It angers me when you talk as if you have done nothing of value, when you have thawed the time I spent so long frozen in," Rem unfurrowed her brows, lightening her expression. "I love you."</p><p>Subaru had nothing to say. His lips trembled.</p><p>That was his Rem.</p><p>Tears continued to fall down his cheeks uncontrollably, and he shook, goosebumps established across his skin. He couldn't bring himself to look her straight in the eyes anymore, not into those deep, ocean eyes that he had fell in love with.</p><p>"Rem, I'm... sorry to interrupt. But your sister... she would want to see you as much as I do. I don't want to be selfish here," Subaru tried to wipe his tears, the edges of his eyes reddening and becoming sore to the touch. </p><p>He didn't want to leave her, however, because he was scared that she'd disappear again once he was out of his sight. </p><p>Subaru had to find the strength within him to close the door behind him tightly so Rem couldn't wander out by accident, and run down the hall to where he knew Ram would be.</p><p><br/>                                ※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※</p><p><br/>"Hm? What are you in such a hurry for, Barusu? Knowing you, it's sure to be something disgusting," Ram snorted, sipping hot tea elegantly, placing it back on to to the plate with a satisfying clink. </p><p>Subaru could barely contain himself as he entered the room, panting as he had to run through almost the entire mansion to find the kitchen. "Haa, haa..." He wiped his forehead of sweat, gulping and glancing downwards before looking back up at Ram confidently.</p><p>"It's Rem."</p><p>Ram's eyes widened, dropping the cup in sheer shock. "Ram sincerely hopes you... aren't kidding around, Barusu." The near contact with the plate would have made the cup shatter into pieces, but Ram had luckily saved it with a small blast of wind magic. She stood, trying to ignore the daily pains she felt, bones aching like no tomorrow and forcing her to stay strapped to a chair.</p><p>The older sister couldn't give this opportunity up. She would run any distance, for this girl she doesn't remember anything with. Ram only knew they had a bond. But Ram wasn't stupid enough to think that Subaru was joking about them being extremely tightly knit as sisters, as his stupid facial expressions gave away far too much about situations at hand.</p><p>"I'm not, she's... Rem's awake..!" He could barely contain his excitement himself, paranoia also crawling up his chest, leaving him antsy and eager to return to the room that she had stayed in all this time. Subaru had even memorised the patterns and exact colours on the walls, so that if he closed his eyes while in the room, his eyes would be able to see the whole guest room. His eyes wandered while he talked to her, Rem. But he wouldn't have to do it anymore.</p><p>"There's no time to waste, Barusu... Take Ram to Rem's room." </p><p>Of course, Ram already knew where it was too. </p><p>Subaru nodded hesitantly, sweat running down his forehead. Ram was equally nervous.</p><p> </p><p>                               ※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※　※</p><p> </p><p>As they stood outside of the room that Subaru had previously tightly shut, Ram sighed as she stared at the door. </p><p>"Nervous?" Subaru wanted to ease her nerves. That was simple to understand. </p><p>Ram just exhaled once more, "If Ram could be as nervous as Barusu, Ram would at least do something useful to help it. Of course not."</p><p>Of course, she was telling herself lies in order to keep these feelings she had at bay. Seeing this sister that she doesn't even remember--</p><p>"Hold on, Barusu. If Rem were awake, then shouldn't Ram be able to remember her?" Ram refused to look at Subaru, her eyes occupied by the deep brown of the obstacle stood in front of the two of them. </p><p>Subaru glanced down at Ram, counting something ambiguous on his fingers. "Beatrice... I was talking to her a little before, and she theorized that because of Gluttony's authority, it may take time for the memories to be digested... something along those lines. We can't be sure, but it seems pretty likely," Subaru inhaled, expectantly waiting for an answer from Ram, who seemed way too calm to Subaru considering the situation.</p><p>Ram was shaking in fear, though she did a good job of hiding it. "I, see." A disappointed tone filled her voice as her crimson eyes slowly lost their footing, dropping to the floor from the door.</p><p>Quickly regaining herself, however, she gazed up at Subaru, as if to tell him to open the door, that she was ready. Subaru nodded, his heart pacing faster than ever.</p><p>Seizing the doorknob with his right hand, he swung it open, breathing getting heavier and heavier.</p><p>Until, light filled the corridor from the room. There was a girl, sat up in bed, her eyes staring towards Ram -- or not.</p><p>Ram's eyes narrowed in fury.</p><p>There was a singular girl, lips as if they were stitched together, rendering her unable to speak. Eyelids glued to her skin, rendering her unable to see. Ears blocked from the inside, rendering her unable to hear.</p><p>A singular girl, with that familiar blue hair, sleeping peacefully, the only sign she was alive the light rise and fall of her chest.</p><p>"Barusu." Subaru's heart sank.</p><p>Surely she was just taking a nap. Surely she wasn't really like this, surely he wasn't imagining it. Rem had been awake a few moments ago, so why when he had gone to fetch someone else, she had left him once more?</p><p>"Is this your idea of a sick joke?" He couldn't say anything. Just like the girl's, Rem's, his lips were stitched together with a force greater than his willpower to answer. </p><p>Ram's eyes were filled with fury, tears, even. She refused to show her face to him, "Ram doesn't think it's very funny. You sicken me." Ram lightly punched Subaru in the chest, turned around and slammed the door, leaving the room in complete silence once more.</p><p>"I don't..." Subaru's eyes drooped to the floor, falling on to his knees. "What is this..?"</p><p>Tears filled his eyes. His face creased, fists closed so tight that he could feel the sweat trapped inside of them. Breathing becoming so ragged that you could think he had just run a marathon, he gripped his head as he desperately searched for answers, anything at all to comfort him. Tearing at his hair, he tugged and tugged at it until he heard a sound that made his heart stop. He wanted everything to stop so he wouldn't have to bear that pain again.</p><p>"Subaru-kun." </p><p>He heard a voice, but she wouldn't be able to hear his no matter how hard he screamed. He could cry until no more tears came, but still, the emptiness and sorrow would remain as long as she wasn't by his side. </p><p>The voice persisted in his head. </p><p>"Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun."</p><p>"Stop it, please."</p><p>Subaru desperately brought his head up, searching for the owner of the voice, but he could only see the sleeping girl. Her lips wouldn't move, but he could hear her lovely voice resounding in his head. It made him feel like he wanted to be sick.</p><p>"Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun."</p><p>"I TOLD YOU TO CUT IT OUT ALREADY, GOD DAMN IT!" He slammed his fist against the wall, tears that were apparent on his face flying off into the distance. He breathed heavily, staring at the girl in the bed. </p><p>No matter how hard he would scream, she wouldn't speak a word of what he was imagining her to. He wanted her to so badly. Subaru wanted to hear her voice speak to him forever. He could listen to it forever.</p><p>Guilt stabbed into his heart, all of a sudden. </p><p>Subaru had screamed and disturbed Rem's rest. Realization sinking in, he gathered the willpower to gradually walk over and seat himself in the chair next to her bed. He continued to cry.</p><p>"No matter how hard, I, try..." Subaru grimaced, staring at her pretty face in turmoil. "Will you never really be here?"</p><p>He placed his face inside of his palms, trying to rid of her face inside of his head. Think of anything else. Mumbling incoherent words through his hands, the hot torrents of grief continued to trickle down his pale cheeks. </p><p>As much as he felt that he didn't deserve to, Subaru rested his head on the white blanket, weeping to no one but himself in that room.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I used a lot of familiar descriptions here from my last one. I actually wrote this one before and decided to write something shorter, and wasn’t sure about posting this as the pacing seemed a but off. You can have it anyway haha</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Parallel World (Subaru)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>t/w: implication of suicidal thoughts</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as he was born, he cried his heart out. His parents obviously thought he was rather troublesome, but his mother chuckled as she held her child in her arms. His father would sigh in disappointment but quickly joined in with laughing with his wife. The crazy parents were laughing as soon as he was born.</p><p>They weren't laughing at him, though. They were laughing because they were so happy that he had been born. Natsuki Naoko and Natsuki Kenichi were a strange pair - but Subaru was glad to have been their son, even if he was just a baby at the time.</p><p>They were both pivotal to him. Without them, Subaru wouldn't have become the Subaru that everyone loves. The hero, the protagonist of his own story.</p><p>He didn't view himself the same way.</p><p>While he grew up, he viewed himself that way. He only came to regret it when everyone had left him, the expectations for being Natsuki Kenichi's son piling on top of him so much that it was difficult to see out of the hole that he had dug himself into. Subaru loved his father. It was never his father's fault.</p><p>It was his own for trying to be someone that he wasn't supposed to be in the first place. When everyone had stopped following him, realizing he was stupid and nonsensical, Subaru was left with no one else but his parents. </p><p>Coming to high school, he majorly messed up his debut and everyone was weirded out by him. Of course, this wasn't middle school anymore. The fact he even thought that it would be like middle school in any way was a major mistake. </p><p>The stares Subaru received after messing everything up made his heart scrunch up, squeeze itself together and fall on to the ground like a scrapped piece of paper. It made him want to stop going to school for the first time in his life.</p><p>So, he did.</p><p>One day turned into every three days a week, and every three days turned into every other day. Before he knew it, he was skipping school every day, and his heart would scrunch up, squeeze and be scrapped once more every morning when the clock would tick past 8. </p><p>His father and mother would try to coax him into going back, but he would ignore them, leaving to continue his protected life inside of his shelter. His bedroom.</p><p>A few months later, on a cold night, Subaru stood from his chair, logging off from an ambiguous MMORPG. He found it ironic that he couldn't even make friends on online games.</p><p>Bags settled under his eyes as he hesitantly gripped his bony fingers on the doorknob, knowing his destination. He reached the front door and found his mother late at night washing dishes like she usually is. Subaru suspected she might have insomnia, or maybe she was just rather restless. It didn't matter much either way.</p><p>Slipping his shoes on, Subaru passed by his mother carelessly, gawking at her with exhausted eyes, sighing. Opening the door, his mother shouted something over to him. He couldn't quite make out what she had spoken to him. Probably something stupid about, buying her mayonnaise. That's what Subaru had thought. </p><p>Subaru had paused before leaving to listen to what his mother had to say, but it was stupid because he couldn't even decipher any of the things she had said. Leaving, he subconsciously wished his mother wouldn't frown for him not being able to respond.</p><p>The convenience store. That was his destination. </p><p>He had brought his wallet with him, heading out to buy snacks for the next night before he would hole himself up in his room again and play till 2 am in the morning. </p><p>The sunlight of the mornings would always hit him with the realization that, if he had a life, he would be sleeping, or possibly even getting ready for school. He had learned to sleep through that time before the clock ticking could give him more weight than he's already carrying.</p><p>While stumbling through the streets, cars passed by, temporarily blinding him as he moved. The faint red spots remained on his eyes as he walked, blinking repeatedly to try and get rid of them. How irritating.</p><p>One of the cars had splashed him with water, and Subaru had to hold back the urge to scream in pure annoyance. Nevertheless, he kept walking.</p><p>And walking.</p><p>And walking...</p><p>How far away was the convenience store? Bringing up his hand to block the wind, he wished the bright white lights would fill his eyes and give him some temporary relief. </p><p>Passing on to a red bridge while he was on his way there, Subaru stopped for a moment and looked over the edge. There was a lake there, and if he jumped, no one would notice as long as he made sure that there were no cars coming. </p><p>His nails dug into the chipped metal of the bridge, biting his lip enough for a thin line of crimson to trail down his chin. Wiping it quickly, he tore away his eyes from the tempting below and continued to walk.</p><p>He continued to walk.</p><p>Walking, barely taking in anything around him. Everything was irritating. Life was irritating. He was irritating. He was tired of it all.</p><p>White light filled his eyes, and his heart was granted temporary relief he wished for. He would probably walk the same way when he came back, though, being forced to hesitate once more on that bridge as he does every night.</p><p>Sluggishly crossing the road as soon as there is no car in sight, Subaru hurried over to the entrance, the technological doors sliding open as soon as he stands nearby. </p><p>Making his way over to the manga stands, he briefly spotted a man walking past. Probably the cashier, convenience stores weren't that used this time of night. Usually, he was the only customer around this time, though there'd be an odd night shift worker heading in for a snack.</p><p>Picking up something that seemed boring and cliche, Subaru flicked through it. "Ah, I see. This is where they suck you in."</p><p>Upon staring at the pages, there seemed to be two male protagonists and a female, which seemed rather boring. If you were going to go the romance route, at least only have one male protagonist. Pulling down the manga for a second, Subaru sighed, searching outside of the window for a change of scenery with his eyes.</p><p>He was greeted with a couple, glaring as they walked past. They didn't seem to take notice of him. It's like he was transparent to everyone that he wanted to take notice of him. Of course, he did deserve the treatment. Nothing he could ever do would change that now.</p><p>He narrowed his eyes as he went to grab food, putting a cup of nato back before deciding on corn potage. </p><p>"That'll be 363 yen."</p><p>Promptly reaching into his pocket for his wallet, holding minuscule amounts of money in, he gripped a 10 yen coin in his hand, noticing something peculiar about it. Somehow, the grooved-edge tens were cool, or something. He didn't know the exact details, but he wanted to keep it either way.</p><p>Quickly grabbing other coins out of his wallet as if to not disrupt the cashier, he placed them down on the surface, snatching away the bag, receiving an odd look from the cashier. Subaru thought that he must be new because he hadn't seen him in the store before. Usually, it'd be a young woman in her 20's or some old guy in his 50's who was probably just doing the job out of boredom. The latter would try to chat with him, being his father's old friend. He was sick of being recognized for things like that. He'd rather just disappear and no one talk to him.</p><p>The world wasn't that nice to him. Of course, it wasn't.</p><p>As soon as he walked outside, his vision flashed all sorts of greens and purples, unfamiliar colours that shouldn't be blending together in his eyesight. Even before this, he had never gotten hallucinations this bad. His vision was blurred and he rubbed his eyes to try and get anything harmful out of his eye, and blinked, and blinked, and blinked, and blinked, and blinked, and blinked.</p><p>He blinked, and his vision turned white, rendering him speechless for a moment.</p><p>A world built around him.</p><p>First, the sky was apparent. It brought light on to him and the sun enveloped him in its warm embrace. Second, clouds. They covered up the sun occasionally, allowing his body a rest. Thirdly, the ground, filled with stones, was made apparent beneath his feet. Fourthly, the buildings that stood tall and proud, colours dashed across every single one, reds, blues and greens mixing together to create a wonderful palette that Subaru simply couldn't comprehend with his blank eyes. Fifthly, the people, demi-humans that walked the streets and looked to be alive. They talked to one another and were even running stalls - what even was this? Sixthly, the animals that inhabited the land and water, the birds that flew across the ordinary skies. </p><p>The colour returned to his eyes.</p><p>If only for a brief second, his heart skipped a beat.</p><p>Once more, his heart finally solved the jigsaw puzzle that was the deep ache in his chest, every piece fitting together perfectly, concealing the pain with cheap glue.</p><p>"I've been summoned into a parallel world?!"</p><p>His screams marked the third burst of excitement he felt in his chest. First, when he was born, staring at his warm parent's faces. Second, when he had made his first friend in kindergarten. Third, when he had been summoned to a parallel world.</p><p>Friendly and not-so-friendly faces didn't bother to look at Subaru like everyone else had in the other world. To them, he was a regular citizen. He could start afresh, anew.</p><p>From zero.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey! It's been a while since I've uploaded something, but here's something I wrote a few days back and forgot to upload. I've been running dry on ideas and motivation again, so just take these few scraps from me. Thanks for reading as always, and I'll probably work on something past these little one shots soon! Just gotta... get an idea that I'm happy with.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Execution (Subaru)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kicking the back of Subaru's head, the warrior grimaced in dissatisfaction. The man stood straight behind Subaru raised his head, speaking to the crowd ahead.</p><p>"This man is a traitor - he has falsely claimed to be a part of a noble family close to the Emperor. We, however, have discovered that it was a lie to infiltrate our forces. He is a Lugnican agent, a knight of the widely disgusted half-witch, Emilia."</p><p>His face scrunched up in pure disgust as he stared at Subaru's back.</p><p>Subaru was saying nothing - he knew it would be better not to start a commotion. His hands ached as the shabbily tied rope rubbed against his skin, burning and aching. Shame piled on his back as the audience glaring at him threw anything they could find on the street at him - rocks, rotten food, shoes. Subaru simply had to endure the pain and wait for this to all be over.</p><p>After all, he was due to be executed.</p><p>Having attempted to lead an army, partnered with the runaway Vincent Vollachia... None of the higher-ups could believe it until the revered Emilia had entered Vollachia through multiple connections and caused a commotion after her ears, hair and eyes had been revealed as she called Subaru's name. </p><p>Subaru was sitting on a stone execution platform in the centre of the town, the block placed in the middle crusted over with the dried blood of countless other people. He had tried his sincere best not to try to look at it too much - it'd fill him with endless fear. </p><p>Subaru's eyes only grew more haunted the more time that passed. </p><p>Come on, get it over with already. Please.</p><p>I can't take it anymore, I'm scared. Please help me.</p><p>I won't do it again.</p><p>His brain began to go into overdrive, sweat beading down his forehead as he felt tears forming in his eyes. He felt the expectant gazes of thousands upon him as they laughed, noticing his fear. It was humiliating. He couldn't do anything against these countless, strong people. In comparison to them, he was simply a defenseless ant, unaware and awaiting his eventual death by squishing.</p><p>Towering over his small figure, Subaru tried to look down, but the man behind him kicked his chin up, whispering,</p><p>"If you try to look down again, I'll make it extra painful for you. Don't even try it, traitor."</p><p>Subaru blinked repeatedly, trying to rid of the humiliation trapped within his eyes, trying to rid of the sweat that plagued his forehead, letting them fold over in laughter at his state. He wanted to be strong for Emilia, even if this loop was doomed.</p><p>However, he couldn't rid of any of it.</p><p>Tears cascaded down his face, unravelling his fear, bare to see to the rest of the crowd. His show of raw human emotion had the crowd squeal in hysteria, the strong glaring down at the weak. Countless humans against a clueless ant, their fingers readying to squish it, destroy it, rid of it, but they must humiliate its only existence for living first.</p><p>The man behind Subaru had a sword resting at his belt, sheathed in a torn, brown leather. That was what would cause him to die. Not natural causes, not mabeasts, not assassins, not anger. A public execution. </p><p>That single fact instilled litres of fear into his blood, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Though despite his human instincts working, he still felt like that clueless ant he was compared to with this crowd. Their entire purpose for being here revolved around entertainment; it seemed like an ordinary thing for someone to be executed around this town.</p><p>Terror continued to rise in his chest, accompanied by an existential dread which continued to fall from his eyes and descend his forehead. </p><p>He began to mutter something.</p><p>"I'm scared."</p><p>Slowly, he continued.</p><p>"I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm..."</p><p>Swiftly kicking his foot into Subaru's chin, he grabbed him by his orange scarf, already ripped and burnt, torn to pieces. Half of his clothing was.</p><p>"How about we get on with the show, fellow Vollachia?" His announcement sent excited roars soaring through the air, filling the town with excitement. Subaru even saw children cheering for someone to die, something looking missing within their eyes.</p><p>All of their eyes are glazed with something he hoped he would never have to taste himself.</p><p>Dragged by the neck, his head was placed on the centre of the stone block sideways, eyes failing to keep up with his surroundings. Everything had become a blur - the clamouring of the crowd blending with each other, becoming gentle whispers in Subaru's mind. Everything suddenly became loud as he heard the metal of a sword unsheathing, the sharpened edge dashing against his neck, drawing a tiny amount of blood. He flinched, causing another eruption of laughter from the crowd and a gentle smirk from the one who had inflicted the wound.</p><p>Chants from the sickened audience ensued, wanting him dead quickly. It seemed they were rather bored by the performance - they had other things to do with their day and wanted to see the satisfying finish. Hearing this would have filled Subaru with pure anger, but his terror was a countermeasure to that anger at the moment.</p><p>He never had this much time to think about his death if he knew it was coming. Usually, after a few minutes, he would be back at his save point. This humiliation and pain had dragged on for over thirty minutes, bruises forming in the places he had been kicked by the warrior he couldn't be bothered remembering the name of. A former ally, only now recognizing the true identity of his former comrade.</p><p>It seemed the man about to treat him with the finishing touch of his blade could read the mood rather well and readied his blade.</p><p>Before Subaru knew it, his eyes had lost balance as he stared at the closer crowd. He didn't have any time to think about it before his brain shut down, unable to process any more commands to the body.</p><p>His head had been cleanly severed from his body, blood seeping out of the gruesome neck wound.</p><p>The man above issued a large victory roar, and the crowd followed, celebrating the death of a traitor.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Arc 7! I thought of this when thinking about possible deaths this Arc, and this is the first thing that sprung to mind. I guess it's sort of fitting? I don't know, lol</p><p>Thought I'd write something else, just because boredom hit a little. I've been recognising that my writing isn't that great recently, maybe it was never good haha. I know I've said this before, but do any of you have suggestions for any shorter one shots I could write? I'd be glad to do them to try and eliminate my writer's block a little.</p><p>Thank you for reading as always!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Just Who (Beatrice, Ram)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Within the Watchtower, Beatrice's eyes flashed through countless memories, and then they were lost.</p><p>"Subaru, I suppose..."</p><p>In the middle of prepping with Ram in the green room, Beatrice sighed as she spoke, muttering his name, thinking of him, despite being absent.</p><p>Suddenly, his image had flashed through her mind, giving her plentiful cause to smile. His existence was a reason to smile in itself - her contractor. Even though he had caused her to worry in the past few minutes; even though life threw everything it had at him, he lived. He'd live through this as well, therefore Beatrice wasn't worried about Subaru.</p><p>Uncovering the 4th royal candidate, Felt. </p><p>Becoming a butler at Roswaal's Mansion, after they took him in for treatment. </p><p>He had earned the trust of the household after he and Ram solved the mabeast incident together. </p><p>He had defeated the White Whale and made allies with Crusch Karsten, a revered royal selection candidate. </p><p>Defeated the Sin Archbishop of Sloth, Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti. </p><p>Freed the Sanctuary by defeating all of the tomb's three trials.</p><p>He made a contract with Beatrice, and together they had defeated the second of the Three Great Mabeasts, the Great Rabbit.</p><p>He had, by chance, defeated the Sin Archbishop of Greed, Regulus Corneas, and assisted in capturing Sirius Romanee-Conti during the Priestella massacre.</p><p>Finally, he had conquered sand time and defeated the first trial of the Pleiades Watchtower.</p><p>Why did he do all of that, Beatrice thought. It's incomprehensible, but maybe he was just a good person. Would a truly good person, no matter how much they insisted they'd do anything for kindness, go that far?</p><p>Frankly, the little spirit recognized something was missing. She had since the start when she had first met him. What kind of connections did he have to get himself anywhere near the mansion? Roswaal is a noble, and only three people inhabited the mansion, apart from Rem, which she didn't count because she didn't remember.</p><p>Placing a finger on her rounded cheeks, she absentmindedly tapped her foot against the ground, Ram glancing over at her with narrowed eyes. Beatrice had noticed her gaze; she simply didn't acknowledge her.</p><p>"Beatrice-sama?" Ram spoke up, crimson eyes observing Beatrice's odd behaviour. It seemed that she was questioning exactly what the little spirit had on her mind, though after Ram had asked, she already lost interest; she proceeded to help her comatose sister on to the obedient land dragon.</p><p>Pouting, the other girl gripped the frills of her dress, trying to recall something she felt was missing within her mind. "I-It's nothing, in fact. Just-"</p><p>"You're thinking of Barusu, Beatrice-sama. Ram couldn't stand the sight of him, even in her mind." Jokingly, Ram smiled, satisfied with herself.</p><p>Pale blue eyes widening with shock, excuses spilt out of Beatrice's mouth. "N-No! Not at all, I suppose. Betty doesn't have any reason to worry about him, in fact. Never, Betty isn't thinking anything about how it feels rather strange to..." Trailing off, she realised her mistake and stopped speaking, flabbergasted as she blinked guiltily at the sighing Ram.</p><p>Ram gently held her sister's hand as comfort as she muttered, "To be frank, Ram was wondering the exact same thing. How come Barusu, the useless pest, perseveres as he has no single reason to?"</p><p>"It's Subaru's personal charm, in fact." Reminiscing on false memories, Beatrice smiled. "But as well as that, Subaru has had Betty as support the entire way, so I don't exactly know what you're saying, I suppose."</p><p>Ram hesitated for a moment before speaking, "Ram is questioning, for one, how Barusu knew that there would be Royal Selection candidates gathering in Priestella. After all, it was Barusu who suggested going to Priestella." The remaining maid spoke, finally turning her face to Beatrice. "..Surely you are aware of what this means, Beatrice-sama," </p><p>Her voice turned deep toward the end, disgust filling her voice, "Ram would surely not wish to find out that Barusu was rooted within the Witch Cult."</p><p>Two drills swayed in the wind as Beatrice stood on her tiptoes, staring Ram in the eyes. "Betty knows for a fact that Subaru is not part of the Witch Cult, I suppose. She has been with him for a year every day in casual settings, there isn't a chance that he has anything to do with it. Betty suggests you ought to remember the first time you met Subaru. Did anything seem suspicious about him, rather than his... odd mannerisms, clothing and... you get the point, I suppose!" Slamming her foot on to the stone floor, Beatrice furrowed her brows.</p><p>Sighing with the faintest smile perched on her lips as she nodded, "Understood, Beatrice-sama."</p><p>Beatrice, knowing she had gotten her point across, triumphantly smirked, while Ram turned around to steady Patrasche.</p><p>Soon enough, even when Beatrice had instructed Subaru to settle, he was running towards them with joy spread across his face. Right next to him was a woman.</p><p>This woman, awfully similar to the description of Satella, the Witch of Envy.</p><p>Beatrice's eyes widened as they continued to approach, preparing to squeal as Subaru jumped on her, hugging her. This woman accompanied him.</p><p>
  <em>Just who are you?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why are you missing from my memories, though I'm so close to this man you smile with?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just who are you?</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hihii! I think UlbertSnow commented this idea on my last chapter, so full credits go to them! I really enjoyed writing this and I'd be happy to take any more suggestions. :)<br/>Hope you're all having a nice day!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Runaway (Emilia, Subaru)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Arc 7 spoilers, though a lot of it is my twist of events. I’d advise skipping this if you very much dislike spoilers.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A tall man stared at the half-elf. It was as if she had not aged at all in these past 5 years - though the effects of age had taken a heavy toll on his appearance. </p><p>His bright eyes had been replaced with a darker hue, facial shape refined and chin sharp, scars cluttered his shocked face. Iconic, gelled up hair was no longer present, familiar spikes not adorably poking upwards. Instead, they had flattened on his head over time. His sharpened gaze would have made Emilia’s heart flutter if it weren’t for the aching and crying she had done, begging for him to come back. The suit he had worn wouldn’t have suited the boisterous Subaru. No, not at all. Emilia noted it was like his previous working butler outfit, except with tints of dark crimson scattered across to hint towards his allegiance. His eyebrows widened and Emilia could swear she almost didn’t recognise him; time was a burden.</p><p>Her eyes hadn’t met with his since they last encountered one another in the Pleiades Watchtower. His smiling face had been blurring in Emilia’s mind ever since she faced the decision to let Subaru go, trapped in Vollachia’s war that they forbid her to partake in. She coaxed herself into thinking that he was dead. Gone. Never to be held within her arms again. His blurred face would haunt her in nightmares; it mocked her for her inability to see his face, standing, alive.</p><p>The election had ended on the second year after they unveiled the truth that Royal Selection Candidate ‘Felt’ was a child with royal blood running through her veins. Many were shocked about the revelation, though the election ended rather soon and the remaining candidates mostly continued with their previous lives. Many protested against Felt’s rule until she publicly vanquished Capella Emerada Lugnica, the Witch of Lust. With only the power she held, she could overcome the immense obstacle of defeating a cult member with her all-too-powerful knight, Reinhardt Van Astrea, by her side.</p><p>Of course, still being a child, she had advisors which she regularly refused to listen to. Reinhardt was forbidden to advise Felt as powerful as he was, the advisors feared he would commit treason against the country - Emilia seriously couldn’t comprehend it when she had heard it.</p><p>Subaru’s face scrunched up in pain, tattered clothing blowing in the wind as he bit his lip.</p><p>“Emi...lia.” Words escaped his lips, and he longed for the moment to last longer. The disbelief rushed through his veins, relief clear in his increased heartbeat. “Emilia... Emilia!” Shouting her name, tears welled up in his eyes as he ran to her side.</p><p>Subaru had been told that everyone close to him was dead. There was no one left. Every single one of his friends had died trying to save him. Killed by the very soldiers he was forced to work under. He had tried to kill himself to reverse the effects, but his save point was just after they had informed him. Eyes darkened and his purpose in life had disappeared, leading to his heart shattering into pieces, unable to be glued back together by the ones he loved.</p><p>Day after day he had served underneath the leading soldiers that had practically killed him before; they had massacred the Sudrak women by igniting the jungle. Subaru was the sole survivor. The mysterious masked man, Abel, had rushed in a divergent direction, affirming to Subaru that they would meet once more. As ever, he cursed Subaru for his cowardice and split directions with the confident youth. Little did Subaru know, he was falling straight into a palpable trap by the soldiers, ones he particularly despised -Todd and Jamal. </p><p>He earnestly hoped Abel was well. He was the only one that Subaru had felt capable of entrusting his life to.</p><p>Rem and Louis had hastily run away after identifying the opportunity they had from the frenzy of the soldiers causing a jungle fire. At least, that’s what Subaru wanted to think. </p><p>They could have burned alongside the jungle.</p><p>He’d never know, as he had never met them after the incident.</p><p>Subaru hoped for the best. He didn’t want to think about Rem being dead, granting her to live merely a limited few days after waking up.</p><p>It wouldn’t be fair to her. Not at all. He didn’t mind her despising him as long as she was safe and experiencing a satisfactory life. That’s all that mattered, right?</p><p>No. Subaru… was more selfish than that. He sought to hold her tight and tell her that it’s alright. Rem with her memories was something that Subaru didn’t savour enough before she was gone.</p><p>That’s why he had gripped on to Emilia’s usual clothing so tightly, breaking down into her chest. Right now, she is the only one he has left to protect.</p><p>His mind drifts back to a year ago.</p><p>Subaru didn’t know why, but he had discovered an opportunity to flee and seized it. He ran, and ran, and ran, till the locals didn’t recognise him anymore. New faces saw he was utterly impoverished and supplied him an unoccupied bed for the night and a ground dragon. Upon asking for directions to Lugnica’s capital, unfamiliar townsfolk smiled and explained him the path. After the four years he had spent in Vollachia, he had never encountered such generosity. Subaru truly owed them his life. </p><p>Soldiers assumed that he had perished in a ditch, alone, and most likely cared less for a servant that didn’t see significance in his own existence any longer.</p><p>Shocked, Emilia’s eyelids fluttered up and down and up and down like w light switch, still in mild incredulity.</p><p>She bit her lip, suppressing her urge to cry in the midst of the avenue. Passerby’s on the street were already giving them strange looks; they had perhaps assumed they were sweethearts. Which she wished they were. Emilia had felt profound regret after finally realising what love meant to her, incapable of sharing it with the one who encouraged her to love again.</p><p>“Subaru... I thought you were dead.”</p><p>The only expression that she had uttered was something extremely cliché, as Subaru had taught her all those years ago. It wasn’t that she thought he was dead; she had persuaded herself he was to ward off melancholy. Emilia would never give up hope that her knight would persist, though a relatively vast amount of individuals had given up on Subaru’s existence, including those in the Emilia Camp. The camp didn’t exist anymore after the Royal Selection. No one had taken off. They had no reason to, and everyone felt that same hole of guilt day after day that they would struggle to fill by reaching out to the other members of the household. Emilia was sure she wasn’t the only one waking up in tears.</p><p>“Shit... I thought I was, too. Until I saw your face, Emilia...”</p><p>Subaru took a sharp inhale. His mouth stung with the icy air that struck his tongue.</p><p>“—Tan.”</p><p>Such an informal word with little meaning spilled out of his mouth so hesitantly.</p><p>The notion of pronouncing t-a-n was an emotion he savoured as the sounds resonated as they escaped his thoughts. He beamed as he tugged his head up, glancing within her eyes that he could become absorbed within so readily. Tears still welled up within his eyes, powerless to let go of the high he obtained after taking in her presence.</p><p>“I know it’s suuuper selfish for me to say this, but... I want you to come home, Subaru. Back to everyone.” Emilia bowed her head, Subaru’s gaze locked intently on her figure.</p><p>If he were to be honest, this was incredibly sudden. Dread filled his chest, back sinking with guilt as he imagined meeting with prior friends, imagining the scoldings he would receive. </p><p>“I know that it’s soooo sudden,” Emilia attempted to smile, and she prevailed, albeit shakily. “But we all miss you, Subaru. We all thought you were gone, and... here you are, and...” Struggling to construct a fluid sentence, Subaru’s shoulders drooped dejectedly, glaring at the ground, refusing to greet her amethyst eyes. Refusing to gaze at those lovely pointy ears and her elegant silver hair, coated with</p><p>blood?</p><p>Blood.</p><p>Her graceful, vile, morbid, gory hair is matted with crimson. </p><p>I hate it, oh my God.</p><p>Subaru’s hands are maroon. The liquid oozed from his fingers, the droplets falling, each droplet carrying a life, mocking him for those he could not save.</p><p>I hate it so much; I hate myself so much, please stop.</p><p>Of course he imagined it. It was his fault, after all. Everyone was dead. </p><p>Dead? He didn’t understand that concept. It’s something that shows up so regularly in his dictionary that he doesn’t consider it an actual word anymore. It’s a saying that only disgusting people say. Disgusting disgusting disgusting.</p><p>Their mangled corpses tossed into a pile, bones snapping and twisted as they flow and ooze and spill and escape and leak and leak and leak with blood.</p><p>Blood.</p><p>That’s all Subaru can see when he stared at her face. It’s all his fault. Why did he run away if his vision were to blur with blood? Oh, my God.</p><p>Emilia was still upright, alive, her gentle smile slowly falling as she witnessed Subaru claw at his hands, holding him back with desperate fingers. This had never happened before, what’s going on?</p><p>Everything seemed to be falling apart. His screams fill the streets of Lugnica as he collapsed on to his knees, Emilia trying everything, everything she possibly could to calm him down even if just a little bit.</p><p>Clearly Subaru was seeing something that she was not.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow! Thanks for reading again.<br/>I wrote about Subaru having a bit of a breakdown so I hope it didn’t come off as rushed. I have some ideas, finally, so I will probably update more often as soon as the motivation comes flowing in! Thank you to my frequent readers for supporting me loads and always reading/commenting :’)<br/>So lucky to have this community</p><p>Next day edit: improved the chapter to have more readability. aka: i finally read over my work :’)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Haunted House (Subaru, Beatrice)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For context (this is a really short one, based off a prompt) this is a modern AU fic!! Beatrice is Subaru's younger sister :')!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey, Beako... are you sure about this? It's pretty dark in here, not to mention the incredibly spooky feeling I get from just walking around in this place..."</p><p>Of course, the pair had entered an abandoned haunted house attraction, thinking that they could set it up to scare Otto on Halloween. It had been a mutual agreement by their group - pretending that they had become lost and he had to search for them, or something like that.</p><p>Beatrice and Subaru had been nominated to search because everyone else was too scared, and Subaru wanted to show off his faux guts to Emilia. Needless to say, her airheaded nature left her impressed and Subaru instantly had regretted his decision upon entering the place. He had dragged Beatrice, his little sister, along with him for this reason.</p><p>"About it being dark, I suppose..." Beatrice put her hands on her hips with elegance. "L-Leave it to Betty." Placing a foot in front of the other, her rainbow Skechers shakily tapped against the ground. They promptly lit up the area, but Beatrice immediately jumped towards Subaru, clinging on to his school shirt with desperation.</p><p>"Gaah! What... was that, I suppose? B-Betty saw a spooky ghost!"</p><p>"Huh?! Don't just throw this on me, Bea..trice..."</p><p>A little blow of the wind causes one of the curtains with numerous holes to blow, causing a ghostly movement of light against the wall. Subaru lifted Beatrice up into his arms and began to sprint out of the haunted house immediately, both of them squealing in fear.</p><p>They ended up making Otto go in by himself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Facing The Forgotten Past (Subaru, Echidna)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>TW/ Suicide<br/>(Sorry I haven't put these in beforehand.)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="messagesWrapper-1sRNjr group-spacing-16">
  <p></p>
  <div class="scroller-2LSbBU auto-Ge5KZx scrollerBase-289Jih disableScrollAnchor-3V9UtP">
    <p></p>
    <div class="scrollerContent-WzeG7R content-3YMskv">
      <p></p>
      <div class="scrollerInner-2YIMLh">
        <p></p>
        <div class="message-2qnXI6 cozyMessage-3V1Y8y groupStart-23k01U wrapper-2a6GCs cozy-3raOZG zalgo-jN1Ica">
          <p></p>
          <div class="contents-2mQqc9">
            <p>"First, you need to face your own past."</p>
            <p>Subaru's face paled as he lost control over his body, eyes widening as he grew closer and closer to the cold, hard ground. The image of Emilia faded as his eyes forced themselves shut, exhaustion quickly overcoming his will to save her.</p>
            <p></p>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>Emilia--</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>A bridge.</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>It's a red bridge.</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>He's staring down into the water below, watching as his reflection gets swayed around by the fish bobbing up and down in the water, the harsh hiss of the wind trying to push him further forward...</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>Placing his foot on the ground to regain his balance, Subaru shakily lifted his head, fixated on what was beneath him. A car blew past on the bridge, bittersweetly welcoming him back to a world he thought he would never see again.</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>Earth.</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>Japan.</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>His hometown.</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>
                <em>His parents.</em>
              </p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>A bead of sweat ran down his forehead.</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>
                <em>His parents.</em>
              </p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>
                <em>School.</em>
              </p>
            </div>
          </div>
          <div class="buttonContainer-DHceWr">
            <p>Something was gripping his chest. It twisted and stabbed at his heart, images flashing through his mind. Anxiety suddenly plagued him, forcing him to drop down on to his knees. This is where he had killed himself after telling his parents he was just going on a convenience store run. He had been so scared to do it on previous nights, but he somehow gathered the courage to do it this one night, where all the constellations were watching over him.</p>
            <p></p>
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              <p></p>
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                  <p>Why had he forgotten all about it until now?</p>
                </div>
                <div class="button-1ZiXG9">
                  <p>He thought he had been simply transported from the comfort of his room, and he actively accepted it. He was so ready to leave this Earth, and as a result, he had forced himself into forgetting about his own deserved suicide.</p>
                </div>
                <div class="button-1ZiXG9">
                  <p>Cars continued to soar by, Subaru gripping his head as harsh reality was placed upon him. He couldn't possibly face his parents ever again, not after what he did to them. Subaru sincerely hoped that they were lucky enough to not find his body after the fact.</p>
                </div>
                <div class="button-1ZiXG9">
                  <p>"So you're here, I see. How intriguing."</p>
                </div>
                <div class="button-1ZiXG9">
                  <p>A girl's voice caused him to perk up his ears, if only for a moment. He had completely forgotten about her existence, too, until now. A character that wasn't supposed to exist in Earth. A deceased witch. Her combed white hair, adorned with a butterfly clip, refused to sway in the wind. Maybe it was directly telling her that she wasn't supposed to be here. Maybe she was rejecting his past? Subaru couldn't tell as he stared at her in awe.</p>
                </div>
              </div>
            </div>
          </div>
        </div>
        <div class="message-2qnXI6 cozyMessage-3V1Y8y wrapper-2a6GCs cozy-3raOZG zalgo-jN1Ica">
          <p>"'Cars'? Your memories are rather interesting, not to mention valuable, to me. Your past, your world, in fact - is different to anything I've ever laid my eyes on." Staring into the distance, Echidna rested her hands by her side, admiring the view across from the bridge.</p>
        </div>
        <div class="message-2qnXI6 cozyMessage-3V1Y8y wrapper-2a6GCs cozy-3raOZG zalgo-jN1Ica">
          <p></p>
          <div class="contents-2mQqc9">
            <p></p>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>"Y-You know, don't you?"</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>"About how your past eventually turned out?" Echidna finally adjusted her gaze to match Subaru's. "Of course. I can see everything that you remember. I'm usually never this interested in anyone who's done the trial in the past. Perhaps you've captured a lonely maiden's heart, Natsuki Subaru." Subaru felt nothing from her response. Of course, she'd be interested. People like her have never seen such a thing outside.</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>"If you're asking me, begging me, to talk about your eventual demise, why don't you talk about it to me yourself? I'd like to hear your current thoughts after the fact. Usually one doesn't come back after death, after all."</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>How ironic. It's in a completely different context, but she's got something right.</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>"Don't you already know my feelings if you can see my memories? Of course, I regret what I did... my parents, are..." Falling into silence, he sat down on the pavement next to Echidna, staring back out into the distance.</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>She smiled. "You think your parents would be disappointed in you, do you not?"</p>
            </div>
            <div class="markup-2BOw-j messageContent-2qWWxC">
              <p>"No... I mean, yes. Yes." Subaru fidgeted around with his fingers, showing insecurity to this woman that he barely even knew. She sat down next to him, resting herself on her knees.</p>
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            <p>"I'll share something with you, then, Natsuki Subaru. Since I have taken quite a liking to you. I hope you won't take it too harshly." Echidna's bleach-white eyelashes blinked, shining in response to the headlights. Subaru suddenly jumped back.</p>
            <p></p>
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              <p></p>
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                <p></p>
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                  <p>That was him. Him, but not him, walking up to the bridge.</p>
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                  <p>A hopeless, despaired look on his face.</p>
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                  <p>Subaru felt a dash of hope for the first time, but Echidna turned her face down and sighed. "He truly doesn't understand. Even I, as the horrendous Witch of Greed, would feel sorry for a little boy who cannot let go of his own past."</p>
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                  <p>Subaru tried to grab his other self's hand. It went straight through. He walked straight through him as if he was a ghost. No. No. Nonononononono. He doesn't want to watch this. He won't watch this. Subaru knew what was about to transpire in front of his eyes, as the younger-looking him stared into the watery abyss beneath him. With a little blood drawn from his lip and a single tear falling down his cheek, he lost his balance accidentally - or intentionally, and fell into the water. A little yelp of opposition escaped his throat as he cried, falling to his doom.</p>
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          <p>Current Subaru dived after him off the bridge.</p>
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              <p>He would stop himself from doing this to his parents. They'd never have to suffer, ever again.</p>
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              <p>Echidna stood, staring as the world began to fade around her eyes, Subaru pausing in the midst of his fall. Glitchy effects enveloped the world as Echidna spoke.</p>
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              <p>"How disappointing. Well, perhaps next time, we will meet once more in this trial. I'll be back to greet you once more. I hope I will see you again." Everything faded to black.</p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi everyone! This is something I made such a long time ago but forgot to post. It's set in Arc 4, but instead of Subaru simply being transported outside of the convenience store, he's transported after committing suicide. I'm really sorry I haven't posted a lot - I've been really busy ! But I saw that this fic reached 10,000 hits so I'm really, really grateful. Thank you to everyone who's read even a single word of this fic and I love you all so much.</p>
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